3 Simple Strategies to Deal With Discouragement

In your opinion, what is the biggest obstacle to people reaching their goals?

A couple of weeks ago I asked this question on Facebook. One of the top answers was: “the discouragement of other people.” David Wilkinson, in his book “The Dream Giver”, identifies four different types of people who discourage us from reaching our goals:

  • The Alarmist: They say, “It’s not safe!” They are motivated by fear and tends to exaggerate the risks.
  • The Traditionalist: They say, “It’s not the way we do it!” They do not like change. They often romanticize the past and they are motivated by custom and routine.
  • The Defeatist: They say, “It’s not possible!” They see problems everywhere. They are certain you cannot achieve your goal or dream.
  • The Antagonist: They say, “I won’t let you!” They use authority or intimidation to block your path. They come against you because they are afraid they will lose money or control. Or they may just not like you or what you are doing. (p. 104).

These can be family, friends, co-workers, bosses, neighbors, and sometimes, complete strangers. For some reason, some people just do not want you to follow your dreams or achieve your goals. So, what do you do about it? I am glad you asked. Here are three suggestions:

  1. Change who you spend most of your time with.

We are typically the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Be intentional about who you are around most of the time. You may not be able to completely control who you are around, but you can to some extent.

Hang around with people who dream and are goal oriented. Look for people to dream with you. Hang around people who support you in your enthusiastic journey toward your God-given potential.

  1. Change your self-talk.

Shad Helmstetter says, “by the time a person is 18 years old they have heard ‘no’ or ‘you can’t do that’ over 148,000 times.” If you hear “no” or “you can’t do that” over 148,000 times you will begin to believe it. Those messages that have been programmed into our minds continue to speak to us.

We must change that negative self-talk into positive self-talk. We must reprogram our minds. The best way to do that is to be more intentional about positive self-talk instead of just using negative self-talk by default.

As we make that change, it will change our thoughts, which will change our beliefs, which will change our feelings, which will change our actions, which will change our results. We cannot always change what other people tell us, but we can change what we tell ourselves.

  1. Hire a coach.

A coach helps you overcome the obstacles in your way so you can better and more quickly achieve your goals. Thomas Leonard put it this way, “a coach helps people set goals, do more than they would have done on their own, and improve focus as to produce results more quickly.” When you are dealing with the discouragement of others, a coach can help you put things in perspective instead of being sidetracked by other people’s negativity.

Here are some statistics on coaching:

  • 80% of people who receive coaching report increased self-confidence,
  • 70% benefit from improved work performance, relationships, and more effective communication skills
  • 86% of companies report that they recouped their investment on coaching and more (source: ICF 2009).

Most coaches offer one FREE introductory session. I would encourage you to find three coaches that look like they may be a good fit for you and schedule a FREE session with each one. Then choose one to work with so you can work past the negative input of other people. A good coach will always be an encourager that helps you stretch beyond your comfort zone. You can sign-up for a FREE coaching session with me here.

Getting past those negative influences is not an easy task. It takes finding more positive people to be around, changing your self-talk, and working with an encouraging coach to break through the negativity into the person God has created you to be. God has not called you to be a part of the mediocre, he has called you to greatness!

Which action will you take today?


I bring to the table a set of professional skills to help you identify what you really want in life, design action plans to reach those goals and get those things accomplished.

I offer one FREE 45-55 minute coaching session, done over the phone at a time that is convenient for you.  In this short call, we will work together to:

  • discover a path you want to take and
  • if I’m the best choice to help you navigate that path.

Take 30 seconds and register for your free session.  It may be the best step you’ve ever taken towards making your life something better than you ever dreamed.


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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to ignite their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life-changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

 

 

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3 Very Easy Steps to Stay Highly Motivated

Motivation has been a passion of mine since I purchased my first Zig Ziglar cassette tape back in 1997. I have learned some practices along the way that help me get motivated and stay motivated. Motivation is not permanent, just like bathing is not permanent.  We need to seek out ways to continue the motivation. Here are three practices that have helped me over the past 20 years.

Pmotivationositive Self-Talk

I know, I know, it sounds crazy, but it works. I talk to myself in the mirror. I talk to myself as I work out. I talk to myself as I listen to positive self-talk audios (by Dr. Shad Helmstetter). Self-Talk has made a world of difference in the attitude I have throughout the day.

I hope you realize that we all talk to ourselves. Even you. You may be reading this right now saying, “I don’t talk to myself, this guy is crazy.” We all talk to ourselves.

The unfortunate thing about most of our self-talk is that it is negative. We tell ourselves, “I can’t do this” or “this is not going to work”; “Why am I even trying?” or when something does not happen exactly as planned we tend to say, “I knew it wouldn’t work.” Psychologist, Shad Helmstetter says, “By the time a child is 18 years old they have heard ‘no’ or ‘you can’t do that’ over 148,000 times.” When you hear “no” or “you can’t do that” so many times, you begin to believe it. And thus we begin the bad habit of telling ourselves the same thing.

Change your self-talk from negative to positive. Wake up every morning saying, “every day in every way I am getting better and better – Yes!” You can find some self-talk scripts through a Google search. If you cannot find one you like, email me and I will send you some of mine.

motivation 2Positive Mental Attitude

The positive self-talk will help you develop a positive mental attitude. The more positive you are about life, the more positive life will be. The more you complain, the more you will have to complain about. The more positive you are, the more you will have to be positive about. You typically find what you are looking for.

motivatino3As I said earlier, we seem to be naturally negative. What do we call the first slice of a loaf of bread? The heel or the end. I have never seen a loaf of bread that did not have two beginnings! When we run our car off the road what do we call? The wrecker. What we need is the tow truck, we have already had the wreck. What do we call that thing that wakes most of us up in the mornings? The alarm clock. Well, people sound the alarm when the bank is being robbed or the building is on fire. Alarms scare people. Why not call what wakes us up in the morning an opportunity clock? If you can hear it, that means you have the opportunity to get up and go. If you can’t hear it that may mean you done got up and gone! (I got those from the most positive person I ever met: Zig Ziglar.)

Zig Ziglar says “Positive thinking will not let you do anything, but it will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.” Positive thinking is not magical, but it is powerful!

Fail Forward

motivation3The third practice to stay motivated is to fail forward. Learn something from your failure. You can either grow bitter from your failure or you can grow better from your failure.

While Thomas Edison was working on one of his many inventions, it took him thousands of times and he still had not gotten it right. Some asked him, “Mr. Edison, what does it feel like to be such a great inventor and have failed 10,000 times on this one invention?” Thomas Edison responded, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that it won’t work.”

If you want to stay motivated I would encourage you to have the same attitude as Thomas Edison. Here is the secret to your success; if you fall down seven times, get up eight. That is it. Get up one more time than you fail and you are a success. That, my friends, is motivating!

What keeps you motivated?


Follow to this blog to get motivation, encouragement, and accountability to help you reach your God-given potential!

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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

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