How To Deal With Weird People

My parents were there when my first child was born.  They had raised five children of their own.  I asked them, “What parenting advice do you have for someone just starting out?” My Dad looked at me and said, “Raise them according to their personality…That is where I went wrong with you.” I was not sure exactly how to take that, but then he continued, “I raised you like a typical little boy. Little did I know my son was growing up with the heart of a poet.”

That was a powerful moment in my life. I have tried to live out my Dad’s advice, not only in raising my children but in every other area of life as well. It has helped me be a better parent, spouse, employee, leader, minister, speaker, coach, and friend.

Understanding our personality styles and the personality styles of those we deal with every day is key to climbing to our God given-potential and helping others climb to their God-given potential as well.

Here is a brief overview of the four major personality styles and how to best work with each:

 

george-washington-picture copy
George Washington was a “Heart”.

 

HEART

  • Security-Seeking Personality
  • Time Focus: The Past
  • Biblical Example: Moses
  • Desires: Connection and Accomplishment
  • Trusts: Authority
  • Characteristics: Dependable and Cautious

When working with Hearts, keep in mind they are motivated by schedules and timelines. They typically enjoy having timelines to get tasks accomplished. They will sometimes get stuck or at least sidetracked whenever they feel they are not in control of the situation. Schedules and to-do lists can help them feel like they have more control. The way to get a heart back on task is to encourage them to stop organizing and get started. Sometimes Hearts try to gain so much control they lose track of the goal.

 

michael jordan 3
Michael Jordan is a “Body”.

BODY

 

  • Thrill-Seeking Personality
  • Time Focus: Present
  • Biblical Example: Peter
  • Desires: Fun and Activity
  • Trust: Their Impulses
  • Characteristics: Fun-loving and Spontaneous

When working with Bodies, keep in mind they are motivated by fun and excitement. They typically will do whatever they feel will be fun. They will sometimes get stuck or sidetracked if they get bogged down with what they feel is too long-term or boring. With their time focus on the now, they need to know they can do something now. The best way to get Bodies back on track is to help them find the fun in it. They will work harder than anybody if they find some kind of excitement in what they are doing.

 

princess-diana-mario-testino
Princess Diana was a “Soul”.

SOUL

 

  • Identity-Seeking Personality
  • Time Focus: The Future
  • Biblical Example: Barnabas
  • Desires: Meaning and Purpose
  • Trusts: Their Intuition
  • Characteristics: Enthusiastic and On a Spiritual Journey

When working with Souls, keep in mind they are motivated by meaning and developing people. They typically enjoy doing something that will have long-term benefits for others. They can become stuck if they do not connect value or meaning to a task. Souls must see the connection between what they are trying to accomplish and the long-term effects. Sometimes, in order for Souls to get back on task, they need to take a mental break or to simply work in solitude. Because Souls sometimes live in their own little world, they may have to visit that world in order to gain momentum.

 

albert-einstein-png-15
Albert Einstein was a “Mind”.

MIND
 

  • Knowledge-Seeking Personality
  • Time Focus: Intervals
  • Biblical Example: Paul
  • Desires: Individuality and Efficiency
  • Trusts: Logic
  • Characteristics: Strong-willed and Skeptical

When working with Minds, remember they are motivated by intellectual challenges like how to improve something or solve a problem. Just like Bodies like to work with their bodies, so Minds like to work with their minds. Minds can sometimes get stuck because they over-analyze to the point they do not complete the task. Sometimes they can simply think themselves out of doing. In order for Minds to get back on track, they may need to take some time alone. Similar to the Souls, Minds need time alone with their thoughts.

The important thing to realize is that we are all different. What motivates you may not be the same thing that motivates someone else. We all see things differently. The goal is not to get other people to be more like you. It is to better understand your tendencies and other’s tendencies so everyone can bring their unique selves to whatever may be taking place.

God made us all different for a reason. If there are two people just alike then one of them is a waste. Remember other peoples’ tendencies whether you are parenting, leading, being a spouse, a team member, an employee, or a friend. Understanding our personality styles and the personality styles of those we deal with every day is key to climbing to our God given-potential and helping others climb to their God-given potential as well.

If you want to dig a little deeper, my 1-hour training DVD “How to Talk to Weird People” may be a great resource for you.


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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to ignite their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life-changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

Check Tommy’s availability or leave a note:

 

Are You Dying From Debt Related Stress?

Yesterday we discussed saving money for an emergency fund. Today we will look at what is becoming a lost discipline: saving money for purchases. We live in an instant gratification society and we feel that just because we want something, we should have it right now – whether we can afford it or not. How do we make it happen? Debt!

IDebt Word And 3d Character Showing Bankruptcy And Poverty believe debt is financial cancer and it is killing people financially. Proverbs 21:20, says; “In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has” (NIV). It is unwise to just blow all we have and then when we find something we want, we just go into debt for it.

young couple worried at home in bad financial situation stress asking for helpDebt-related stress destroys marriages, reduces productivity in the workplace, and in some cases, it is literally killing people (Check out “Maxed Out” by James D. Scurlock). It is okay to purchase material wants if you are financially responsible when you do so. A big part of being financially responsible is saving up the money to make big purchases instead of going into debt.

Dave Ramsey says, “One definition of maturity is ‘delaying pleasure.’” Remember, “In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has” (Proverbs 21:20, NIV). The wise and mature thing to do is save up for big purchases.

debtDebt is a killer! As I said before, debt is financial cancer that is killing people that would otherwise be financially stable. By the way, the belief that the poor must go into debt to get by is a myth. I realize I may get some backlash from that but it is true. As a matter of fact, the less money one has, the more fatal going into debt will be.

debt stressI have had money and I have not had money and in neither case has debt been an asset.   To be honest, over the last 17 years, other than a mortgage I had for about 13 years, I have not had any debt. The freedom I have had during times of plenty and times of…well… not so plenty – I can greatly attribute to my and my wife’s refusal to go into debt.

So, go ahead and get you some “stuff’, just make sure you can pay for it without going into debt. And if you cannot pay for it, at least have the wisdom and maturity to delay that pleasure long enough to save up and pay cash!


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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message.

Check Tommy’s availability: