How To Deal With Weird People

My parents were there when my first child was born.  They had raised five children of their own.  I asked them, “What parenting advice do you have for someone just starting out?” My Dad looked at me and said, “Raise them according to their personality…That is where I went wrong with you.” I was not sure exactly how to take that, but then he continued, “I raised you like a typical little boy. Little did I know my son was growing up with the heart of a poet.”

That was a powerful moment in my life. I have tried to live out my Dad’s advice, not only in raising my children but in every other area of life as well. It has helped me be a better parent, spouse, employee, leader, minister, speaker, coach, and friend.

Understanding our personality styles and the personality styles of those we deal with every day is key to climbing to our God given-potential and helping others climb to their God-given potential as well.

Here is a brief overview of the four major personality styles and how to best work with each:

 

george-washington-picture copy
George Washington was a “Heart”.

 

HEART

  • Security-Seeking Personality
  • Time Focus: The Past
  • Biblical Example: Moses
  • Desires: Connection and Accomplishment
  • Trusts: Authority
  • Characteristics: Dependable and Cautious

When working with Hearts, keep in mind they are motivated by schedules and timelines. They typically enjoy having timelines to get tasks accomplished. They will sometimes get stuck or at least sidetracked whenever they feel they are not in control of the situation. Schedules and to-do lists can help them feel like they have more control. The way to get a heart back on task is to encourage them to stop organizing and get started. Sometimes Hearts try to gain so much control they lose track of the goal.

 

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Michael Jordan is a “Body”.

BODY

 

  • Thrill-Seeking Personality
  • Time Focus: Present
  • Biblical Example: Peter
  • Desires: Fun and Activity
  • Trust: Their Impulses
  • Characteristics: Fun-loving and Spontaneous

When working with Bodies, keep in mind they are motivated by fun and excitement. They typically will do whatever they feel will be fun. They will sometimes get stuck or sidetracked if they get bogged down with what they feel is too long-term or boring. With their time focus on the now, they need to know they can do something now. The best way to get Bodies back on track is to help them find the fun in it. They will work harder than anybody if they find some kind of excitement in what they are doing.

 

princess-diana-mario-testino
Princess Diana was a “Soul”.

SOUL

 

  • Identity-Seeking Personality
  • Time Focus: The Future
  • Biblical Example: Barnabas
  • Desires: Meaning and Purpose
  • Trusts: Their Intuition
  • Characteristics: Enthusiastic and On a Spiritual Journey

When working with Souls, keep in mind they are motivated by meaning and developing people. They typically enjoy doing something that will have long-term benefits for others. They can become stuck if they do not connect value or meaning to a task. Souls must see the connection between what they are trying to accomplish and the long-term effects. Sometimes, in order for Souls to get back on task, they need to take a mental break or to simply work in solitude. Because Souls sometimes live in their own little world, they may have to visit that world in order to gain momentum.

 

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Albert Einstein was a “Mind”.

MIND
 

  • Knowledge-Seeking Personality
  • Time Focus: Intervals
  • Biblical Example: Paul
  • Desires: Individuality and Efficiency
  • Trusts: Logic
  • Characteristics: Strong-willed and Skeptical

When working with Minds, remember they are motivated by intellectual challenges like how to improve something or solve a problem. Just like Bodies like to work with their bodies, so Minds like to work with their minds. Minds can sometimes get stuck because they over-analyze to the point they do not complete the task. Sometimes they can simply think themselves out of doing. In order for Minds to get back on track, they may need to take some time alone. Similar to the Souls, Minds need time alone with their thoughts.

The important thing to realize is that we are all different. What motivates you may not be the same thing that motivates someone else. We all see things differently. The goal is not to get other people to be more like you. It is to better understand your tendencies and other’s tendencies so everyone can bring their unique selves to whatever may be taking place.

God made us all different for a reason. If there are two people just alike then one of them is a waste. Remember other peoples’ tendencies whether you are parenting, leading, being a spouse, a team member, an employee, or a friend. Understanding our personality styles and the personality styles of those we deal with every day is key to climbing to our God given-potential and helping others climb to their God-given potential as well.

If you want to dig a little deeper, my 1-hour training DVD “How to Talk to Weird People” may be a great resource for you.


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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to ignite their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life-changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

Check Tommy’s availability or leave a note:

 

“I Sure Do Miss The Drugs Though” – Surviving Internal Struggles

johnnycashbonoJohnny Cash was having a meal with Bono (the lead singer for U2) and they both bowed their heads to pray. Johnny Cash prayed and thanked God for the food, friendships, forgiveness, and salvation. After the prayer Johnny Cash raised his head and said to Bono, “I sure do miss the drugs, though.”

The Apostle Paul shared some of what was going on with his internal struggles in Romans 7:14-20,

“We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it” (NIV).

I often call this the doo-doo passage. When we find ourselves dealing with these inner struggles we find ourselves in a whole lot of doo-doo. All of us can identify with these struggles because all of us have them. We may not know what to do about it. Ask yourself three questions:

What Do I Really Want?

Many people are not honest with themselves about what they really want.  Honestly ask yourself, “What do I really want?” Matthew 5:6 says, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled” (NIV). What do you hunger and thirst for? Is it righteousness or that thing you are having that internal struggle over?

Who Is Really In Charge?

Have you given Jesus the lead in your life? Or are you still trying to be in charge? The word Lord actually means leader, boss, CEO, the one in charge. Are you just calling Jesus Lord or have you actually made him the leader of your life? “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 7:21, NIV, Jesus speaking).

Who Is Really Going To Help Me?

turtlefencepostZig Ziglar says, “If you see a turtle on fencepost you can rest assured that sucker did not get there by himself.” He had some help along the way. If you are going to overcome those internal struggles you are dealing with you will NEED some help along the way.

You do not have to share your struggles with everybody, but you do have to share them with somebody. Find somebody who loves God and loves you to share your struggles with. If there is a sin in your life that you cannot talk to someone about then Satan has already won in that area of your life. Do not let him win!

We all struggle with sin. Even the Apostle Paul struggled with sin. That is why he needed Jesus. And just because we have this sin struggle does not mean we give up. We keep on fighting while relying heavily on the grace and forgiveness of God through our savior, Lord, and friend Jesus Christ!

What have you found helpful in dealing with your internal struggles?


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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message.

Check Tommy’s availability:

 

Gandhi & Michael Jackson – Religious Leaders?

plank-eye.jpg“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged.  For you will be treated as you treat others.  The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.  And why worry about the speck in your friends’ eye when you have a log in your own?  How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye.  Hypocrite!  First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.”  
                                                    -Matthew 7:1-5 (New Living Translation)

This principle taught by Jesus is also taught by other religious leaders like Gandhi and Michael Jackson (Man in the Mirror… and no, I’m not serious about MJ being a religious leader).

It is similar to the concept that you cannot give what you do not have.  You cannot give good financial advice if you are broke.  You should not try to help somebody live a healthy lifestyle if you are not living a healthy lifestyle.

gandhiGandhi’s sister (not Michael Jackson’s sister… her name is Janet… or LaToya…. or Reba, but you never hear about Reba; I wonder what she did with her life…. well…. anyway….) once brought her son to Gandhi and said “Please tell my son to stop eating sugar.”  Gandhi responded, “Bring him back next week.”

A week later, she brought her son back and Gandhi looked at the boy and said, “Stop eating sugar.”  She asked him why she had to come back a week later.  He responded, “Because last week, I was still eating sugar.”

In Galatians, Paul encourages us to gently restore someone who has sinned.  I believe that is the role with our spouse or any other brother or sister in Jesus.  Of course, it must be gentle and for the purpose of restoration.

We should only point out any follower of Jesus’ sin if we follow these 3 guidelines:

  1. We must take care of the sin in our own life first.
  2. Be gentle in dealing with other’s sin.
  3. Only point out the other’s sins if it is for the purpose of restoration.

 

_MG_6842cropDo you or your organization need a speaker for an upcoming event?   Does your group need some tools in their conflict resolution toolbox?  

Tommy Lanham is a personality strategist and trains groups of people in analyzing their own personalities as well as teaching them how to get along with different personalities. He is an experienced, trusted and highly enthusiastic speaker who communicates life changing truths in an entertaining way. He connects with his audience inspiring them to take action.

He speaks to various organizations of various sizes, providing the tools to help you follow your dreams to reach your potential.  

Visit the website:     www.TommyLanham.com  

 

 

4 Areas for Focus Goals

How are you doing with your 2016 goals so far? I hope you are moving forward and seeing progress. As you move forward, I encourage you to have goals in at least 4 major areas of your life. These can be broken down into sub-categories, but these are four main areas of life where goals can help you live life to the fullest.

  1. Physical

Take care of your physical body. Whether it is to weigh a certain amount, exercise more, or get more sleep, take care of yourself. Set some goals concerning your physical life. This will give you more energy to fulfill your other goals.

  1. Emotional

– Invest more time into your family.
– Call a friend you have not talked to in a while.
– Have a quality, heartfelt conversation with your spouse.
– Develop some emotional attachment and stability.

Set some goals concerning your emotional life. Success will not mean much if you leave those you love behind in the process.

  1. Mental

– Take a class.
– Read a book.
– Go to a seminar.

Continue to expand your mind. Set some goals concerning your mental life. What you learn on your goal achievement journey is more important than actually achieving the goal.

Continue to expand your mind. Set some goals concerning your mental life. What you learn on your goal achievement journey is more important than actually achieving the goal.

  1. Spiritual

Zig Ziglar says, “You’re going be dead a lot longer than you’re going to be alive, so you need to be setting those long-term goals.” I could not have said it better myself. Set some goals concerning your spiritual life. These goals will have the biggest impact on your life.

 

You may ask, “Where do financial goals fit in?” It depends on what the focus of your financial goals may be. If you are struggling for survival then your financial goals may be in the physical category. You may need to set some financial goals to continue to put food on the table. If you are wanting to save up for a special gift or a vacation for you and your family, it may be an emotional goal. If you are wanting to save up enough money to go back to school without going into debt then your financial goal may be a mental goal. If you are wanting to do more good with your money by giving more to your church or to another charity organization then it may be a spiritual goal. Just be intentional about what area of your life you are developing.

Can you think of any other areas of life where you would want to set and achieve some goals?  Leave a comment and share what areas you want to work on!

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Tommy Lanham is a coach, leadership training expert, instructor, motivator, and a believer. He travels to speak on goals, priority management, faith, personality types and other related topics. If you would like to find out more about Tommy’s speaking and coaching, please visit his website:  www.TommyLanham.com