How To Deal With Weird People

My parents were there when my first child was born.  They had raised five children of their own.  I asked them, “What parenting advice do you have for someone just starting out?” My Dad looked at me and said, “Raise them according to their personality…That is where I went wrong with you.” I was not sure exactly how to take that, but then he continued, “I raised you like a typical little boy. Little did I know my son was growing up with the heart of a poet.”

That was a powerful moment in my life. I have tried to live out my Dad’s advice, not only in raising my children but in every other area of life as well. It has helped me be a better parent, spouse, employee, leader, minister, speaker, coach, and friend.

Understanding our personality styles and the personality styles of those we deal with every day is key to climbing to our God given-potential and helping others climb to their God-given potential as well.

Here is a brief overview of the four major personality styles and how to best work with each:

 

george-washington-picture copy
George Washington was a “Heart”.

 

HEART

  • Security-Seeking Personality
  • Time Focus: The Past
  • Biblical Example: Moses
  • Desires: Connection and Accomplishment
  • Trusts: Authority
  • Characteristics: Dependable and Cautious

When working with Hearts, keep in mind they are motivated by schedules and timelines. They typically enjoy having timelines to get tasks accomplished. They will sometimes get stuck or at least sidetracked whenever they feel they are not in control of the situation. Schedules and to-do lists can help them feel like they have more control. The way to get a heart back on task is to encourage them to stop organizing and get started. Sometimes Hearts try to gain so much control they lose track of the goal.

 

michael jordan 3
Michael Jordan is a “Body”.

BODY

 

  • Thrill-Seeking Personality
  • Time Focus: Present
  • Biblical Example: Peter
  • Desires: Fun and Activity
  • Trust: Their Impulses
  • Characteristics: Fun-loving and Spontaneous

When working with Bodies, keep in mind they are motivated by fun and excitement. They typically will do whatever they feel will be fun. They will sometimes get stuck or sidetracked if they get bogged down with what they feel is too long-term or boring. With their time focus on the now, they need to know they can do something now. The best way to get Bodies back on track is to help them find the fun in it. They will work harder than anybody if they find some kind of excitement in what they are doing.

 

princess-diana-mario-testino
Princess Diana was a “Soul”.

SOUL

 

  • Identity-Seeking Personality
  • Time Focus: The Future
  • Biblical Example: Barnabas
  • Desires: Meaning and Purpose
  • Trusts: Their Intuition
  • Characteristics: Enthusiastic and On a Spiritual Journey

When working with Souls, keep in mind they are motivated by meaning and developing people. They typically enjoy doing something that will have long-term benefits for others. They can become stuck if they do not connect value or meaning to a task. Souls must see the connection between what they are trying to accomplish and the long-term effects. Sometimes, in order for Souls to get back on task, they need to take a mental break or to simply work in solitude. Because Souls sometimes live in their own little world, they may have to visit that world in order to gain momentum.

 

albert-einstein-png-15
Albert Einstein was a “Mind”.

MIND
 

  • Knowledge-Seeking Personality
  • Time Focus: Intervals
  • Biblical Example: Paul
  • Desires: Individuality and Efficiency
  • Trusts: Logic
  • Characteristics: Strong-willed and Skeptical

When working with Minds, remember they are motivated by intellectual challenges like how to improve something or solve a problem. Just like Bodies like to work with their bodies, so Minds like to work with their minds. Minds can sometimes get stuck because they over-analyze to the point they do not complete the task. Sometimes they can simply think themselves out of doing. In order for Minds to get back on track, they may need to take some time alone. Similar to the Souls, Minds need time alone with their thoughts.

The important thing to realize is that we are all different. What motivates you may not be the same thing that motivates someone else. We all see things differently. The goal is not to get other people to be more like you. It is to better understand your tendencies and other’s tendencies so everyone can bring their unique selves to whatever may be taking place.

God made us all different for a reason. If there are two people just alike then one of them is a waste. Remember other peoples’ tendencies whether you are parenting, leading, being a spouse, a team member, an employee, or a friend. Understanding our personality styles and the personality styles of those we deal with every day is key to climbing to our God given-potential and helping others climb to their God-given potential as well.

If you want to dig a little deeper, my 1-hour training DVD “How to Talk to Weird People” may be a great resource for you.


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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to ignite their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life-changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

Check Tommy’s availability or leave a note:

 

If You Want to Truly Climb to Your God-Given Potential, Never Settle

In 1 Thessalonians 4:1, Paul says to the church in Thessalonica; “Finally, brothers, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact, you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more” (NIV). Notice how Paul commends them on what they have done and are currently doing and then he encourages and “urges” them to do “more and more”. Paul did not want them to become common or too comfortable in their God-pleasing lives. He encouraged them to keep growing.popeye5

I wrote in yesterday’s blog about how the enemy of the great is the good. Sometimes we become so satisfied with how good we are that we never reach our greatness. Craig Valentine puts it this way, “Are you too good to be great?”

popeye3Bill Hybels talks about having a “Holy discontent for the status quo.” Hybels started Willow Creek Community Church in the 1970’s with a group of enthusiastic young people and no money. Now Willow Creek is one of the largest churches in the world. Bill Hybels’ whole desire was to reach people with the gospel and connect them to Jesus. Hybels also talks about having your Popeye popeyemoment. Your Popeye moment is when you finally say, “That’s all I can stands, ’cause I can’t stands no more!” This is the point at which things must change. You have developed a Holy discontent for the status quo.

popeye2Waylon Jennings, after finishing an album, was asked if he was satisfied with the album. His response, “If I ever become satisfied with an album then I am finished as a country singer.” Jennings seemed to be indicating that no matter how good an album was he was never quite satisfied. He continued to look for ways to make the next one even better.

popeye4My dad used to build bird houses. I can remember, as a kid, he would spend what seemed like hours continuing to work on a bird house that already looked perfect to me. He would continue to look for blemishes and imperfections until he could get it just right.

What do Paul, Craig Valentine, Bill Hybels, Waylon Jennings, and my dad all have in common? They never settled! They never said that is good enough. They kept working on their craft. They celebrated their accomplishments but they never allowed their accomplishments to cause them to just be satisfied. They continued to improve. They never settled!

Never settle! If you want to truly climb to your God-given potential then never settle. Celebrate your victories and accomplishments, and then look at how you can climb to the next level. God is not done with you… so never settle!

Do you have a story of someone who never settled?


Follow to this blog to get motivation, encouragement, and accountability to help you reach your God-given potential!

Subscribe to the YouTube channel to get notified when new videos are posted!


_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message.

Check Tommy’s availability or leave him a note:

 

 

Gandhi & Michael Jackson – Religious Leaders?

plank-eye.jpg“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged.  For you will be treated as you treat others.  The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.  And why worry about the speck in your friends’ eye when you have a log in your own?  How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye.  Hypocrite!  First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.”  
                                                    -Matthew 7:1-5 (New Living Translation)

This principle taught by Jesus is also taught by other religious leaders like Gandhi and Michael Jackson (Man in the Mirror… and no, I’m not serious about MJ being a religious leader).

It is similar to the concept that you cannot give what you do not have.  You cannot give good financial advice if you are broke.  You should not try to help somebody live a healthy lifestyle if you are not living a healthy lifestyle.

gandhiGandhi’s sister (not Michael Jackson’s sister… her name is Janet… or LaToya…. or Reba, but you never hear about Reba; I wonder what she did with her life…. well…. anyway….) once brought her son to Gandhi and said “Please tell my son to stop eating sugar.”  Gandhi responded, “Bring him back next week.”

A week later, she brought her son back and Gandhi looked at the boy and said, “Stop eating sugar.”  She asked him why she had to come back a week later.  He responded, “Because last week, I was still eating sugar.”

In Galatians, Paul encourages us to gently restore someone who has sinned.  I believe that is the role with our spouse or any other brother or sister in Jesus.  Of course, it must be gentle and for the purpose of restoration.

We should only point out any follower of Jesus’ sin if we follow these 3 guidelines:

  1. We must take care of the sin in our own life first.
  2. Be gentle in dealing with other’s sin.
  3. Only point out the other’s sins if it is for the purpose of restoration.

 

_MG_6842cropDo you or your organization need a speaker for an upcoming event?   Does your group need some tools in their conflict resolution toolbox?  

Tommy Lanham is a personality strategist and trains groups of people in analyzing their own personalities as well as teaching them how to get along with different personalities. He is an experienced, trusted and highly enthusiastic speaker who communicates life changing truths in an entertaining way. He connects with his audience inspiring them to take action.

He speaks to various organizations of various sizes, providing the tools to help you follow your dreams to reach your potential.  

Visit the website:     www.TommyLanham.com