Jesus, Communication, Purpose, and Sex – 4 Secrets to a Great Marriage Relationship

 

lowres0What is the secret to a great marriage relationship? My wife and I have had our ups and downs over almost 17 years of marriage. Through it all, we have learned some valuable lessons to having a great marriage. We have had a whole lot of help along the way from marriage coaches, counselors, and mentors. They have all helped us to greatly improve our marriage relationships not to mention the many books, conferences, seminars, and retreats that have helped us as well. Through seventeen years of learning, failing, learning from failing and eventually experiencing some successes, here are what I consider the top four most important secrets of a great marriage.

  1. The first secret to a great marriage relationship is for both people to keep their eyes on Jesus. Jesus must be the focus. He is the most important factor of any great relationship.
  1. Good Communication. Open and honest communication going both ways. The better the communication, the better the relationship.4 sec

My wife and I attended a retreat in 2014, that dramatically helped us in both areas. We pray not only with each other every night (even nights when one of us is away) but for each other every night. We also learned a communication tool called “dialogue” (I describe this practice here) that has greatly improved our communication. Our prayer time and our “dialogue” has not only kept us focused on Jesus and communication it has helped us continue to grow and improve in both of those areas. Jesus and communication would defiantly be my top two most important aspects of a great marriage relationship.

  1. Having a shared purpose, values, and goals. This is another area where my wife and I have dramatically grown over the course of seventeen years. We have discovered that when we dream together we grow together.
  1. In my opinion, there is one more important secret to a great marriage…an extremely hot sex life! There, I said it. I know many of you were thinking it, so, I just went ahead and said it.4 secrets

Each couple may define a “hot sex life” differently. This may depend on what stage of your life or marriage you are in or even your health and many other factors. That is OK, as long as you and your spouse define it together. Keep in mind that “hot” is not necessarily determined by frequency. It is more determined by the love, passion, and even spirituality that is shared through the sexual relationship. Regardless of how you define it, an extremely hot sex life frequently makes for a great marriage relationship.

What are your secrets for a great marriage relationship?


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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message.

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What Makes You Feel Truly Alive?

 

What makes you truly alive? What is it that keeps you up at night and gets you going in the morning? I am not talking about just having your heart pump blood through your veins, I am talking about an aliveness that goes beyond just continuing to breathe.

These are good questions for all of us to ask ourselves from time to time. It is too easy to fall into the trap of just existing from day to day. Let’s be totally alive!

Here are three things (plus one) that make me feel totally alive:

  • Jesus! Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10, NIV). The closer I am to Jesus the more alive I become.
  • lowres0My wife! When my relationship with my wife is good I am fully alive. When it is not, I feel like I am going to die. Fortunately, I have a great relationship with my wife. This has not always been the case, but we have been intentional about growing our marriage and that intentionality has paid off. (For more information on how we became intentional about our marriage, get in touch with me through the form below.)
  • Moving forward! Following my God-given dreams, growing and becoming more of what God created me to be.

When I combine those three together I am truly alive. When my relationship with my wife is good, with both of us focused on Jesus while we follow our God-given dreams well, that is an ecstatic level of aliveness!

Bonus: I almost forgot….. Getting to fulfill my God-given purpose makes me feel alive as well. When I get to make a difference in people’s lives, when I bring more life to someone else it makes me more alive.


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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message.

Check Tommy’s availability:

The Secret Code Behind Remarkable Communication

 

in-sWe discussed where people get their energy by looking at the differences between extroverts and introverts in the last blog. Today we will look at people’s style of communication, the way they best exchange information, by looking at the difference between those who have a preference for sensing and those who are more intuitive.

Sensors tend to communicate more concretely while intuitors tend to communicate more abstractly. In the book “Please Understand Me II” David Keirsey explains the difference this way, “Abstract words refer to things that cannot be observed but only imagined, while concrete words refer to things that can be observed and therefore need not be imagined” (p. 120).

Sensing

If your tendency is toward sensing, you communicate through what you can see, touch, smell, hear, and taste. You communicate what you can observe. You tend to start with the facts first, then move toward the big picture.

sensing intuitionSensors like to recall events as snapshots of what literally happened. They put experience first and put less trust in words and symbols. Sometimes they will focus so much on the facts of the present or past that they miss new possibilities.

Intuitive

If your tendency is toward intuition, you communicate through what can be imagined. You see beyond just the facts. You tend to start with the big picture first, then move toward the details and facts.

Intuitives like to recall events by what they read “between the lines” at the time. They place great trust in insights, symbols, and metaphors and less in what is literally experienced. Sometimes they focus so much on new possibilities that they miss the practicalities of making that new possibility into reality.

Everyone has some of both sensing and intuition. However, we all have one that is more dominate than the other. This is your preference for how you best and most naturally communicate.

Neither style is good or bad. We need both. When we are aware of what each person’s communication style is, we can better work towards better marriages, healthier churches, and more productive businesses.

S-N

After reading the descriptions of the two different communications styles which one do you feel you are? What about your spouse? Kids? Co-workers? Supervisor? Understanding you’re your communication style and the style of those you interact with on a regular basis can help you be more effective in your communication.


Follow to this blog to be sure to get motivation, encouragement, and accountability in your inbox to help you reach your God-given potential!

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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message.

Check Tommy’s availability: