In your opinion, what is the biggest obstacle to people reaching their goals?
A while back, I asked this question on Facebook. One of the top answers was: “the discouragement of other people.” David Wilkinson, in his book “The Dream Giver”, identifies four different types of people who discourage us from reaching our goals:
- The Alarmist: They say, “It’s not safe!” They are motivated by fear and tends to exaggerate the risks.
- The Traditionalist: They say, “It’s not the way we do it!” They do not like change. They often romanticize the past and they are motivated by custom and routine.
- The Defeatist: They say, “It’s not possible!” They see problems everywhere. They are certain you cannot achieve your goal or dream.
- The Antagonist: They say, “I won’t let you!” They use authority or intimidation to block your path. They come against you because they are afraid they will lose money or control. Or they may just not like you or what you are doing. (p. 104).
These can be family, friends, co-workers, bosses, neighbors, and sometimes, complete strangers. For some reason, some people just do not want you to follow your dreams or achieve your goals. So, what do you do about it? I am glad you asked. Here are three suggestions:
- Change who you spend most of your time with.
We are typically the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Be intentional about who you are around most of the time. You may not be able to completely control who you are around, but you can to some extent.
Hang around with people who dream and are goal oriented. Look for people to dream with you. Hang around people who support you in your enthusiastic journey toward your God-given potential.
Change your self-talk.
Shad Helmstetter says, “by the time a person is 18 years old they have heard ‘no’ or ‘you can’t do that’ over 148,000 times.” If you hear “no” or “you can’t do that” over 148,000 times you will begin to believe it. Those messages that have been programmed into our minds continue to speak to us.
We must change that negative self-talk into positive self-talk. We must reprogram our minds. The best way to do that is to be more intentional about positive self-talk instead of just using negative self-talk by default.
As we make that change, it will change our thoughts, which will change our beliefs, which will change our feelings, which will change our actions, which will change our results. We cannot always change what other people tell us, but we can change what we tell ourselves.
- Hire a coach.
A coach helps you overcome the obstacles in your way so you can better and more quickly achieve your goals. Thomas Leonard put it this way, “a coach helps people set goals, do more than they would have done on their own, and improve focus as to produce results more quickly.” When you are dealing with the discouragement of others, a coach can help you put things in perspective instead of being sidetracked by other people’s negativity.
Here are some statistics on coaching:
- 80% of people who receive coaching report increased self-confidence,
- 70% benefit from improved work performance, relationships, and more effective communication skills
- 86% of companies report that they recouped their investment on coaching and more (source: ICF 2009).
Most coaches offer one FREE introductory session. I would encourage you to find three coaches that look like they may be a good fit for you and schedule a FREE session with each one. Then choose one to work with so you can work past the negative input of other people. A good coach will always be an encourager that helps you stretch beyond your comfort zone. You can sign-up for a FREE coaching session with me here.
Getting past those negative influences is not an easy task. It takes finding more positive people to be around, changing your self-talk, and working with an encouraging coach to break through the negativity into the person God has created you to be. God has not called you to be a part of the mediocre, he has called you to greatness!
Which action will you take today?
I offer one FREE 45-55 minute coaching session, done over the phone at a time that is convenient for you. In this short call, we will work together to:
- discover a path you want to take and
- if I’m the best choice to help you navigate that path.
Register for your free session. It may be the best step you’ve ever taken towards making your life something better than you ever dreamed.
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Tommy Lanham is an award-winning speaker, personality strategist, and world-changer. He was a regional finalist for the Toastmasters International Speech Contest in 2019, making him one of the top 100 speakers in the world! Tommy Lanham is the epitome of enthusiasm. It oozes out of him. He’s obsessed.
At 12, he was a sixth-grade flunky. At 22, he was kicked out of college because of a .8 GPA. (You read that right – a .8 GPA.) After 6 years, he completed his undergrad degree with an unimpressive 2.3 GPA.
Then something happened. Tommy discovered the power of goal-setting, personality strategy, and an enthusiasm mindset.
Tommy calls these, “The 8 Decisions.” He has developed these key decisions over 25 years of successfully coaching, training, and motivating people to reach their God-given potential.
Tommy is on a mission to break out of the monotony of the mundane and mediocre so you can break through to your ENTHUSIASM Zone.
