What Do You Mean by “Love”?

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What is love?

There are three main Greek words for love (Greek is the language the majority of the New Testament was written in):

1. Eros: which is more of the romantic, feeling type of love. It can also apply to the physical, sexual type of love. It is where we get our English word Erotic.

2. Philia: Which means brotherly love or working together toward a common goal. It is where the city Philadelphia (the city of brotherly love) gets its name.

3. Agape: means sacrificial love. This is best exemplified by the love that Jesus has for us. He paid the ultimate sacrifice for us.

To be fair, I do believe that a healthy marriage needs all three of these in the relationship. However, I do believe there is a ranking of importance. Agape love must be number one in a marriage relationship. Secondly, Philia must be a part of the marriage so they can work together and be one. Thirdly, Eros will come and go in a marriage. It is the nature of that type of love. It is not constant. Eros will fade in and out at different times. If Eros is the only love a couple has then when it fades they have nothing left. If they have Philia and Agape love then this will anchor them together much better than Eros alone.

The quote above is really pointing out the difference between Eros (needed but not sustaining) and Agape (the most sustaining type of love).

Marriage coaching helps couples climb to their God-given potential by facilitating growth and change. My wife, Tammy, and I will work with you to identify and pursue growth goals that both partners want to attain. We will help you identify what areas you would like to grow in and develop options and actions to reach mutual goals. If you feel your marriage relationship could benefit from marriage coaching, talk to me. Call or text (502) 667-2981 or email LifeCoachTommy@yahoo.com.  Let’s schedule your free discovery session.

Tommy Lanham is a coach, leadership training expert, instructor, motivator, and a believer in Jesus. He is an experienced, trusted and highly enthusiastic speaker who communicates life changing truths in an entertaining way. He connects with his audience inspiring them to take action.

He travels to speak on goals, priority management, faith, personality types and other related topics. If you would like to find out more about Tommy’s speaking and coaching, please visit his website: