The Secret Code Behind Remarkable Communication


in-sWe discussed where people get their energy by looking at the differences between extroverts and introverts in the last blog. Today we will look at people’s style of communication, the way they best exchange information, by looking at the difference between those who have a preference for sensing and those who are more intuitive.

Sensors tend to communicate more concretely while intuitors tend to communicate more abstractly. In the book “Please Understand Me II” David Keirsey explains the difference this way, “Abstract words refer to things that cannot be observed but only imagined, while concrete words refer to things that can be observed and therefore need not be imagined” (p. 120).


If your tendency is toward sensing, you communicate through what you can see, touch, smell, hear, and taste. You communicate what you can observe. You tend to start with the facts first, then move toward the big picture.

sensing intuitionSensors like to recall events as snapshots of what literally happened. They put experience first and put less trust in words and symbols. Sometimes they will focus so much on the facts of the present or past that they miss new possibilities.


If your tendency is toward intuition, you communicate through what can be imagined. You see beyond just the facts. You tend to start with the big picture first, then move toward the details and facts.

Intuitives like to recall events by what they read “between the lines” at the time. They place great trust in insights, symbols, and metaphors and less in what is literally experienced. Sometimes they focus so much on new possibilities that they miss the practicalities of making that new possibility into reality.

Everyone has some of both sensing and intuition. However, we all have one that is more dominate than the other. This is your preference for how you best and most naturally communicate.

Neither style is good or bad. We need both. When we are aware of what each person’s communication style is, we can better work towards better marriages, healthier churches, and more productive businesses.


After reading the descriptions of the two different communications styles which one do you feel you are? What about your spouse? Kids? Co-workers? Supervisor? Understanding you’re your communication style and the style of those you interact with on a regular basis can help you be more effective in your communication.

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Gandhi & Michael Jackson – Religious Leaders?

plank-eye.jpg“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged.  For you will be treated as you treat others.  The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.  And why worry about the speck in your friends’ eye when you have a log in your own?  How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye.  Hypocrite!  First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.”  
                                                    -Matthew 7:1-5 (New Living Translation)

This principle taught by Jesus is also taught by other religious leaders like Gandhi and Michael Jackson (Man in the Mirror… and no, I’m not serious about MJ being a religious leader).

It is similar to the concept that you cannot give what you do not have.  You cannot give good financial advice if you are broke.  You should not try to help somebody live a healthy lifestyle if you are not living a healthy lifestyle.

gandhiGandhi’s sister (not Michael Jackson’s sister… her name is Janet… or LaToya…. or Reba, but you never hear about Reba; I wonder what she did with her life…. well…. anyway….) once brought her son to Gandhi and said “Please tell my son to stop eating sugar.”  Gandhi responded, “Bring him back next week.”

A week later, she brought her son back and Gandhi looked at the boy and said, “Stop eating sugar.”  She asked him why she had to come back a week later.  He responded, “Because last week, I was still eating sugar.”

In Galatians, Paul encourages us to gently restore someone who has sinned.  I believe that is the role with our spouse or any other brother or sister in Jesus.  Of course, it must be gentle and for the purpose of restoration.

We should only point out any follower of Jesus’ sin if we follow these 3 guidelines:

  1. We must take care of the sin in our own life first.
  2. Be gentle in dealing with other’s sin.
  3. Only point out the other’s sins if it is for the purpose of restoration.


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He speaks to various organizations of various sizes, providing the tools to help you follow your dreams to reach your potential.  

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