How the Bible Says to Build Winning Relationships

1 Thessalonians 5:12-18, is one of the best passages I have ever read when it comes to building winning relationships.

Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (NIV).

Bible

Let us respect those who work hard among us, especially those who serve us as leaders. Leadership is not an easy task. Leaders will make mistakes. Be gentle with them.

We must do whatever we can to live at peace with everyone. We cannot control what others do. We can only control what we do in response.

We must be gentle and patient with those who seem to not “get it” or struggle along. As the stronger person, if that is the case, then we have more responsibility to create peace than they do. May we take the high road.

Always do what is good for others even if they are not doing the same for us. Someone has to set the standard. If we dumb down to their level of thinking and acting then we have allowed them to set our standard. Let us set our own higher standard.

Bring a sense of excitement, joy, and enthusiasm to every situation. In most cases, others will either join in or leave. They will typically only fight you for so long.

This passage is great wisdom for how to build winning relationships. Remember, everything is about relationships. If we can build winning relationships we will be winners in others areas of life as well.

Here is the same passage in another translation:

And now, friends, we ask you to honor those leaders who work so hard for you, who have been given the responsibility of urging and guiding you along in your obedience. Overwhelm them with appreciation and love!

Get along among yourselves, each of you doing your part. Our counsel is that you warn the freeloaders to get a move on. Gently encourage the stragglers, and reach out for the exhausted, pulling them to their feet. Be patient with each person, attentive to individual needs. And be careful that when you get on each other’s nerves you don’t snap at each other. Look for the best in each other, and always do your best to bring it out.

Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live (1 Thessalonian 5:12-18. The Message).


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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

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Where There Is No Vision, The People Perish

life1We find different people throughout the Bible who followed their God-given, specific purpose. Abraham became the father of a nation just like God called him to do. Abraham was the father of Isaac, who was the father of Jacob whose name was changed to Israel. Yes, that Israel. The Israel that became a nation through the line of Abraham. David became the nation of Israel’s second king. Acts 13:36, says; “For when David had served God’s purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep” (NIV). “Fell asleep” is the Bible’s nice way of saying he died. David fulfilled God’s purpose for him while on this earth.

Nehemiah served his specific purpose of rebuilding Jerusalem’s wall and restoring the hope of his people. Ester was given a purpose of saving her people. Ester 4:14, says; “For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this” (NIV). Maybe God has you in a position right now for such a time as this. I would encourage you to read Ester’s story in its entirety.

purpose2Peter fulfilled his purpose in being a leader in the early church. Paul fulfilled his purpose of being an apostle to the Gentiles (those who were not Jewish). There are numerous examples of people in the Bible following their God-given, specific purpose.

Proverbs 29:18, says; “Where there is no vision, the people perish” (KJV). Tony Campolo says, “The world is not so much sinful as it is dead.” Part of the reason that people are walking around in the world, and even in the church, like dead people is because they have no vision, no God-given purpose for existing. They are what Zig Ziglar used to call a “wandering generality instead of a meaningful specific.”

life.jpgI believe John 10:10 gives us two specific purpose statements. Jesus is speaking in this verse and he says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (NIV). The first is the purpose statement of Satan. The reason for his existence is to steal, kill, and destroy everything that is good in your life and especially your hope of eternal life. Jesus’ whole purpose for existing is to give you life and to give it to the full. The King James Version words it this way, “Life more abundantly”. The Message says, “so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of”.

That is why “It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for” (Ephesians 1:11, The Message). It is only in Jesus we find out our specific purpose. To not have that purpose is deadening. To discover and follow that purpose is life to the full; life more abundantly; it is real and eternal life, more and better life than we ever dreamed of!

Helen Keller said it well when asked if there was anything worse than being blind and she replied, “Yes, being able to see and having no vision.” If you would like some specific steps in discovering your God-given purpose please look at my last blog: 5 Clues to Uncover Your N.I.C.H.E.

 

 


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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

Check Tommy’s availability or leave a note:

 

5 Clues to Uncover your N.I.C.H.E.

Over the past two blogs, we have looked at our first purpose and our general purpose. However, there is another level of purpose we have not yet discussed. Not only does everyone have their first purpose (to know, love, and follow Jesus), and their general purpose (Worship, fellowship, discipleship, ministry, and evangelism), but each one of us also has a specific purpose. While our first and general purpose are universal, our specific purpose is unique for each and every one of us.

NICHE

Galatians 6:4-5, says; Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life” (The Message). As you better understand who God made you to be and the work he wants you to do, you will better understand your specific purpose. God has equipped you to fulfill a purpose that he specifically put you on this earth to fulfill.

Here are five areas to “carefully explore” to better understand “who you are and the work you have been given”.

Natural Abilities
What are you naturally good at doing? What seems to come easier for you than it does most other people? What are some of those talents and strengths you have naturally developed?

Inspirational Gifts
Everyone who has decided to follow Jesus has received what the Bible calls spiritual gifts. I would encourage you to read Romans 12:3-8; 1 Corinthians 12:1-11 and 27-31; Ephesians 4:11-12; and 1 Peter 4:9-11, for a list of spiritual gifts. There are some spiritual gift surveys available online and they are helpful in discovering your spiritual gift. However, the best way is to simply try something that appeals to you and see how it goes. If it seems like a good fit, perhaps you have discovered your spiritual gift. If it is not a good fit, try another one.

niche3Character
How did God wire your brain? When I talk about understanding your character I am talking about your personality style. God has wired each one of us differently to serve him in the way he wants us to serve him. Discover your personality style and it will help you better understand your God-given, specific purpose. My DVD “How To Speak To Weird People” comes with a personality style survey and gives descriptions of each style.

Heart
What are you passionate about? What keeps you up at night because of enthusiasm and excitement and what wakes you up early in the morning for the same reason? What do you love to talk about? If you knew you could not fail and money was not an issue, what would you do? These are just some questions to help you discover your passion…your heart!

Experiences

How have past experiences equipped you for what God wants you to do? Evaluate both your good and bad experiences, because God uses both. What physical experiences, emotional experiences, intellectual experiences, and spiritual experiences have you had that has shaped you into the person you are today?

Niche2If you noticed, those five areas spell the word NICHE. What is your niche? What are your natural abilities, inspirational gifts, character, heart, and experiences? Once you make a “careful exploration” of these five areas, you will have a better idea of “who you are and the work you have been given”. Then you will better understand what your God-given, specific purpose may be!


Follow to this blog to get motivation, encouragement, and accountability to help you reach your God-given potential!

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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

Check Tommy’s availability or leave a note:

 

 

Are You Ready to Reevaluate 2017 And Make the Needed Adjustments?

halftimeHow are you doing on your 2017 Goals? You know, those goals you enthusiastically set back in January. How have you progressed? Are you still moving forward? Are your time targets still in line with your progression?

We have entered our sixth month of 2017. This is a great time to look back over your goals and evaluate where you are in comparison to where you want to be and then make adjustments. It is time for your half-time locker room breakdown.

In basketball or football, each team uses half-time to reevaluate where they are, where they want to be, and how to best get there. They may make adjustments in their plan. They discuss new obstacles that may have come into play. Then they go back on the field to reach their goal of winning that game.

half time 1I would encourage you to schedule a half-time sometime this month. Before you start the second half of the 2017 game, evaluate where you are, where you want to be, and make proper adjustments to reach your goal. You may have experienced obstacles in these past six months that you did not anticipate back in January. If so, make adjustments to overcome these new obstacles.

Here are a few tips as you go into the locker room for your half-time:

  • Make sure you distinguish between goals and focus goals.

You may have several goals for the year, but it is impossible to focus on numerous goals at a time. Pick one to four (three is better than four, two is better than three, one is better than two, and zero is better than nothing) focus goals that will get your focused attention no matter what. You may accomplish some of the others as well. The others are not forgotten, but you can only focus your attention on one to four of your goals. Without focus, you are much less likely to accomplish your goals. Do not be impressed with how many goals you have. Be impressed with how far you have come in reaching one or two significant goals. At half-time, teams do not typically discuss the whole season, they focus in on one game. I would encourage you to follow their example.

Here are three tips as you go into the locker room for your half-time evaluation:

  • Get some accountability.

If you are working alone, I encourage you to find someone who will hold you accountable in reaching your goals. It is too easy to justify exceptions when we have no one to hold us accountable. Find someone who cares about you and the goals you have set.half time

Hire a coach. A coach can help you set goals, do more than you would have done on your own, and improve focus as to produce results more quickly. At half-time, a coach helps the team and individual players become clearer, more confident, and maximize their potential. Andy Stanley says this about coaching:

You will never maximize your potential in any area without coaching. It is impossible. You may be good. You may even be better than everyone else. But without outside input, you will never be as good as you could be. We all do better when somebody is watching and evaluating.

We have a tendency to measure ourselves against the people around us. They become our point of reference. A good coach will evaluate your performance against your potential. A coach helps you measure your performance against your strengths instead of against someone else’s. (2003, pp. 104, 106)

A well-trained coach can better help you identify where you are, where you want to be, and how to get there.

  • Make sure you are working your goals through a plan.

It is more than just saying you have a goal. What is your process for achieving your goal or goals? Here is a simple five-step process I developed. I use the word G.O.A.L.S. as an acronym.

G: Goal-Write down your focus goal. There is a psychological effect to writing down (not just typing) your goals that makes a stronger mental impression. Write it down in a positive, present tense, and measurable format.

O: Obstacles-List your obstacles. What is keeping you from reaching your goal? Especially identify those obstacles that you have just noticed over the past six months.

A: Action Steps-List the action steps you need to take in order to reach your goal. You should have at least one action step for every obstacle you need to overcome. No goal comes true without action.

L: Little Bit Of Help-List who and what can help you reach your goal. People, books, classes, degrees, mentors, and coaches are all examples of getting a little bit of help. If you can reach your goal on your own, it is not a big enough goal.

S: Set A Date-Write down the date you will have your goal accomplished. A goal without a date is just a dream, but a dream with a date can become a reality. When will you accomplish your focus goal?

Again, I would not work all of your goals through this process. However, your focus goals need to be worked through a goals achievement process, either the one I shared with you here or another one. (You can find more information on the goals process I shared above in my book, GOALS: Godly Objectives Assuring Lasting Significance.)

So, are you ready for your half-time? Are you ready to reevaluate your game and make the needed adjustments? If so, you will greatly increase your chances of winning (reaching your goals). Then we can celebrate the victory!!!

References
Stanley, Andy (2003). The Next Generation Leader. Multmonah, Sisters, OR.


Follow to this blog to get motivation, encouragement, and accountability to help you reach your God-given potential!

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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

Check Tommy’s availability or leave him a note: