Do You Want to Know Why You Got Fired? (Video)


Subscribe to the YouTube channel to get notified when new videos are posted!


_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to ignite their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life-changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

Check Tommy’s availability or leave a note:

 

 

Do You Want to Know Why You Got Fired?

Nothing is more important than relationships. Not politics, championships, or even religion.  Nothing is more important than relationships. Regardless of your call in life, the stronger the relationships you have, the better off you will be. Here are just a few facts I have heard about relationships.

  • Over 99% of counseling is relationship counseling

relationship-pics-images-pictures-photos-13

Zig Ziglar tells in his How To Stay Motivated series about a counselor who believed, in his educated opinion, more than 99% of counseling is relationship counseling. That makes sense. Marriages are about relationships, parenting is about relationships, jobs are about relationships, depression is often about relationships, drug and alcohol abuse is often about relationships, pre-marital issues are about relationships… everything seems to be about relationships! If we could all get this relationship issue under control, we would put professional counselors out of work.

  • 70% of fired people are fired because they did not get along or fit in

trump - firedThis is another statistic I got from Zig Ziglar. How often people are fired – not because they could not do the job, not because they were lazy, not because they stole from the company – because they did not get along or fit in with the other employees!  Relationships. Relationships apparently play a significant role in employment which plays a significant role in the health of our economy.

  • 20-year Harvard study shows that relationships affect health more than food, exercise, or genes.

Relationships even have an effect on our health. Our emotional health influences our physical health. If you really want all that time in the gym to pay off, try investing just as much energy into your significant relationships.

  • Mark 12:30-31

When Jesus was asked, “Of all the commandments which is the most important?” (Mark 12:28, NIV). Jesus responded, “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these” (Mark 12:30-31, NIV). No commandment is more important than our relationship with God and our relationships with other people. Even if you look at the Ten Commandments, you will discover that four of them are about our relationship with God and the other six are about our relationships with people, but they are ALL about relationships!

20170605_172611A few years ago, my wife and I found ourselves allowing other things to become more important to us than our relationship with each other, our kids, our friends, and even our God. We drastically changed our focus and it has changed our lives. Sometimes we leave important things undone because we focus our time, energy, and attention on our relationships and especially our relationship with each other.  Oddly enough, we have discovered we are much more productive when our relationship with each other is going well. It actually gives us energy!

What can you do to focus more on your relationships? Maybe go on a couples retreat with your spouse, take your kid fishing or just out for the day, invest some time with a friend. Do whatever it takes to grow your significant relationships because, in the end, your emotional well-being, your career, your physical health, and even your faith depends on it!


Subscribe to the YouTube channel to get notified when new videos are posted!


_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to ignite their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life-changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

Check Tommy’s availability or leave a note:

Only Hurting People Hurt People

letterMy wife and I have a practice where we agree on a question, then we take 10 minutes to write each other a letter answering that question. After we write our letters, we exchange, read and discuss them. It is a great practice for married couples. I may write a blog about it sometime, but not today.

Instead, I want to write about one of the questions we had a few days ago. The question was, “How am I life-giving to you?” Wow, what a question! My answer? “I believe my positive self-image dramatically affects how life-giving I am.” Obviously, I wrote more in the letter over the course of 10 minutes. I am not sharing all the intimacies of the love letter I wrote my wife. But I did want to share the main point of my letter.

A person must love themselves before they can fully love others. Love is life-giving and I cannot give my wife or anyone else my love if I have no love for myself to give. Jesus said it this way, “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:30-31, NIV). There is a connection between how much we love ourselves and how much we are capable of loving others. You can only love others to the level you love yourself.

Tommy Lanham

Most of the time, if not all of the time, we find that people are negative toward others because they have little to no love for themselves. Typically, only hurting people hurt people. The people who love themselves the most are the same people that others like to be around the most.

So, the more we love ourselves; and love God who is the ultimate lover and life-giver; the more we can love other people and therefore be more life-giving. If for some reason we have less love for ourselves then we have less love to give. It is almost like Jesus knew what he was talking about.

If you want to be someone who adds life to people instead of draining life from people, then learn to love yourself. Jesus loves you, other people love you.  Learn to love yourself so you can pass on that love to others. One way to fuel our enthusiasm is to love ourselves in a way that flows into other people’s lives.

Never settle, live with enthusiasm, and turn the world upside down by loving yourself so much that you cannot help but love others in a life giving way!

Fuel Your Enthusiasm!


Subscribe to the YouTube channel to get notified when new videos are posted!


_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to ignite their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life-changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

Check Tommy’s availability or leave a note:

 

Are You Wasting Your Life?

How many times have you heard someone make the comment, “I am the same person I have always been”? I am not sure exactly what they mean by that, but I cannot help but see that as an insult to themselves. To say, “I am the same person I have always been” is to say “I have never grown up” or “I am not any smarter now than I ever was” or “I just don’t give a crap about getting any better in any area of my life”.

I know many people reach a plateau and never really grow beyond a certain point. That seems sad to me, not something to brag about.

If you are the same person at 40 as you were at 20 you have wasted 20 years of your life. As we grow older we should be growing in other areas as well. Unless we are perfect, (and none of us are) we should always be growing.

ludicrousThe reason most people do not grow is that growth means change and sometimes change can be painful. There is no growth without change. We have to consistently be changing if we want to grow. That means we will not be the same person we have always been. When we grow, we become different. We change and become better.

If you want something you have never had, you will have to do something you have never done. That is the process of growth. If we just settle, then we will never reach our God-given potential. God is not done with you. So, do not settle. Keep growing. Keep learning. Keep stretching. Do whatever it takes to get from where you are to where you want to be.

I can remember being so shy, I would not look the cashier in the eye as I made a purchase. I hoped they would not talk to me so I would not have to speak. Thankfully, today I am not the same person I had always been.

ludicrous

I  can remember a day when I hated school or any kind of academics. I had no desire to stretch myself in this area. Thankfully, today I am not the same person I had always been.

Before I got married, I would preach and teach often on marriage and relationships. After I got married I stopped! I realized I was clueless about marriage and relationships. I was married for almost 15 years before I felt mentally, emotionally, and spiritually prepared to teach on marriage and relationships again. It has been a brutal learning process for me; but I have learned from experience, books, audio programs, classes, and especially from other married couples who were much better at this marriage thing than I was. As I have learned, I have become a much better husband, dad, and teacher. Thankfully, today I am not the same person I had always been.

You can change! You can grow! But not if you are satisfied being the same person you have always been.

God is not done with you…so, never settle, live with enthusiasm, and turn the world upside down… Here we go!


Follow to this blog to get motivation, encouragement, and accountability to help you reach your God-given potential!

Subscribe to the YouTube channel to get notified when new videos are posted!


_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

Check Tommy’s availability or leave a note:

Step Three to Finding Real Happiness: Feed Your Mind

garbage.jpgWhat if I came into your house with a pile of garbage and dumped it all out on your living room floor? What would you do? You may call the police or you may take matters into your own hands and begin pounding some sense into me.  You would at least tell me to “Clean it up.” Depending on how quickly I responded to your demand, you may revert to one of the other two options.

The garbage on your living room floor can be cleaned up with some focused attention. But what about the garbage we pour into our minds on a daily basis? That is not so easily cleaned up. Be careful what goes into your mind.

Over the last two blogs, we have looked at two steps to finding real happiness: Step one is do something and step two is find someone. Today we will look at step three…feed your mind!

garbage 4Most people do not read a single non-fiction book after they finish school. We fill our minds with junk on the radio, T.V., the internet, and numerous other sources; but we do not take the time to fill our minds with good, positive, productive information. If we want to find real happiness, we must become life-long learners.

How many of you believe everything you read in the Bible? Now, how many of you believe everything you read on the internet? Now, I ask you, how many of you spend more time reading what you don’t believe than what you do believe?

I would encourage you to become life-long learners. Read or listen to something that will help you grow and move in the direction of your goals. If you do not have any goals, then maybe you could start with reading GOALS: Godly Objective Assuring Lasting Significance.

garbage 2

Learn more about whatever it is you do in life. If you are married, read or listen to some books on marriage (The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman) or go to a marriage conference. If you are a parent, read or listen something on parenting (Scream-Free Parenting by Hal Edward Runkel) or go to a parenting class or conference. If you want to grow spiritually, read or listen to something on spiritual growth (The Bible) or go to church. Wherever you are in life or whatever you are doing, learn more about it so you can get better.

I am a speaker and a life coach who helps people climb to their God-given potential. You know what I read and listen to the most? Books and audios on speaking, coaching, and reaching my God-given potential. Those things not only feed my mind, they feed my soul.

If you want to find real happiness, I encourage you to do something, find someone, and feed your mind. Begin or continue your lifelong quest for learning. You may have finished your formal schooling, but if you want to find real happiness and joy, you must never finish your education.

What is the next book you are going to read? Class you are going to take? Audio you are going to listen to? Whatever it is, write it down (message it to me below if you want) and then take action! Buy it, pick it up, press play, whatever you need to do please do it now!


Follow to this blog to get motivation, encouragement, and accountability to help you reach your God-given potential!

Subscribe to the YouTube channel to get notified when new videos are posted!


_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

Check Tommy’s availability or leave him a note:

What EXACTLY Is It You Do For a Living Tommy Lanham?

Hi!  I’m Tommy’s wife, Tammy.  Something Tommy and I have in common is we both struggle with a short answer when the inevitable question comes up “So, what do you do?”  I, personally, homeschool a 6th grader and 8th grader, am the chief marketing officer for my husband’s business as well a the owner of Tammy Lanham Images, specializing in photography and marketing for entrepreneurs and small businesses.  See – not really a very short answer, is it?

So I sat down with Tommy Lanham and interviewed him to try and get a better idea of how to market him.  I’ll let you listen in:

So Tommy, what is it you do for a living?
I used to say I was a speaker and life coach. The ppotential 2roblem with that answer is that many people have no idea what that means. It is such a vague description of what I do. It is like asking a mechanic what he does and him answering, “I lift hoods and twist wrenches.”

Give me the short answer.
I help people climb to their God-given potential. Although some think I’m a comedian, I love puns and that my full-time job is keeping my wife happy.  All of that is true, too.

Who is it that you help?
Organizations, churches, ministries, marriages, and individuals.  Hungry ones.

I was recently working with a coach myself and together we came up with,  “I serve those who hunger for their God-given potential.” This better identifies who I work with. People who are content in their day-to-day life probably have no interest in what I have to offer.

hunter

Who will benefit from working with you?
Those who hunger.  Businesses who want to be more successful, more productive, more peaceful.  Organizations who are ready to move forward and really crush it.  Churches who want to go beyond the status quo.  People/organizations who have big plans but don’t know how to move forward with those plans.  Those who are ready to make changes, ready to discover what God has in store for them.

Those people are much less likely to get sidetracked when the climb becomes difficult. Because it will get difficult. If you do not have that inner hunger, all the skill, motivation and coaching in the world will not help you.

How exactly do you work with people?
I do one-on-one coaching, I travel and speak, offer motivational keynotes, present partial and full day training for organizations and events.  I have three popular presentations “Great Minds Think Together” “Organized Dreaming” and “The Climb” that can stand alone or build upon one another to create an unstoppable recipe for success.

Explain to me “Location / Destination / Navigation”
That’s the three programs I just mentioned.
1.  Location:  Step one is figuring out your own location – your starting point on your GPS. Who are you? Get an understanding of your organization’s strengths and weaknesses, personality, spiritual gifts, your present state, etc.  This helps give you an understanding of where you are starting. You cannot map out where to go until you find out where you are.  This self-awareness is discovered and examined in my program “Great Minds Think Together.”  It is the foundation of my 3-step program.

2.  Destination:  Where do you want to be?  What do you want most out of life?  This step is all about discovering your organization’s purpose and future. In this program, you create a vivid picture in your mind about where you would like you or your organization to go. What kinds of goals are you setting?  Get specific about your goal or dream. Do not say, “I want to increase productivity.” That is like telling your GPS, “I want to go north.” That is not a destination. In this program, I help you get specific. My program “Organized Dreaming” helps you set goals with razor sharp focus. It’s a great tool on its own but it’s also an incredibly effective tool when coupled with the foundational program in step 1.

3.  Navigation:  Once your GPS finds your location, and you enter the address you want to go to, then and only then, will the GPS calculate a route for you. Then you can follow the direction to get to your destination. Sometimes you may need to re-calculate along the way just like a GPS does, but that does not mean you abandon the destination. It just means you may need to make some adjustments along the way. The program “The Climb” is the motivation, empowerment and the guide along your journey that helps you navigate which step to take next.

There you go! A simple three step process. Location + Destination + Navigation = your GPS for success in getting from where you are to where you want to be!

So, what is it you tell people when they ask what it is you do?
I am leading an enthusiastic revolution against the mundane.  I don’t think they always get it.

You get up on a Monday morning.  What’s your first hour look like?
I send out reminder emails to my coaching clients of their upcoming coaching calls this week. I do any last minute preparations for any groups I’ll be speaking to during the week and check my calendar for upcoming group presentations or travel.

Then I eat a bowl of cereal and kiss my wife good morning.  Remember, gotta keep my wife happy.  😉  The same things any leader of a revolution does, right?


Follow to this blog to be sure to get motivation, encouragement, and accountability in your inbox to help you reach your God-given potential!

Subscribe to the YouTube channel to get notifications when there are new videos posted!


_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message.

Check Tommy’s availability or leave him a note:

 

Jesus, Communication, Purpose, and Sex – 4 Secrets to a Great Marriage Relationship

 

lowres0What is the secret to a great marriage relationship? My wife and I have had our ups and downs over almost 17 years of marriage. Through it all, we have learned some valuable lessons to having a great marriage. We have had a whole lot of help along the way from marriage coaches, counselors, and mentors. They have all helped us to greatly improve our marriage relationships not to mention the many books, conferences, seminars, and retreats that have helped us as well. Through seventeen years of learning, failing, learning from failing and eventually experiencing some successes, here are what I consider the top four most important secrets of a great marriage.

  1. The first secret to a great marriage relationship is for both people to keep their eyes on Jesus. Jesus must be the focus. He is the most important factor of any great relationship.
  1. Good Communication. Open and honest communication going both ways. The better the communication, the better the relationship.4 sec

My wife and I attended a retreat in 2014, that dramatically helped us in both areas. We pray not only with each other every night (even nights when one of us is away) but for each other every night. We also learned a communication tool called “dialogue” (I describe this practice here) that has greatly improved our communication. Our prayer time and our “dialogue” has not only kept us focused on Jesus and communication it has helped us continue to grow and improve in both of those areas. Jesus and communication would defiantly be my top two most important aspects of a great marriage relationship.

  1. Having a shared purpose, values, and goals. This is another area where my wife and I have dramatically grown over the course of seventeen years. We have discovered that when we dream together we grow together.
  1. In my opinion, there is one more important secret to a great marriage…an extremely hot sex life! There, I said it. I know many of you were thinking it, so, I just went ahead and said it.4 secrets

Each couple may define a “hot sex life” differently. This may depend on what stage of your life or marriage you are in or even your health and many other factors. That is OK, as long as you and your spouse define it together. Keep in mind that “hot” is not necessarily determined by frequency. It is more determined by the love, passion, and even spirituality that is shared through the sexual relationship. Regardless of how you define it, an extremely hot sex life frequently makes for a great marriage relationship.

What are your secrets for a great marriage relationship?


Follow to this blog to be sure to get motivation, encouragement, and accountability in your inbox to help you reach your God-given potential!

Subscribe to the YouTube channel to get notifications when there are new videos posted!


_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message.

Check Tommy’s availability:

 

How We Avoid Money Fights In Our Marriage

 

Over the course of my adult life, there have been times I have had money and there have been times I have not had money, and believe me, it is better to have it. Through my adult years, I have both lived on my own and as a married man and as a dad. At each stage, I have had to alter my view of money to some extent.

At one time finances was a big issue for my wife and I. Finances are typically the biggest fought about issue in a marriage. We have learned some lessons and principles to make those fights less often and less intense.

Here is what we have learned about managing money, making money, and saving money:

Managing Money
We have learned to follow the Dave Ramsey plan. It is simple and it is biblical. Here is a quick summary of his plan…our plan!

  1. money$1,000 to start an “Emergency Fund”

Emergencies will happen. Dave has this as the first step because no matter what financial plan we have if an emergency comes up and we do not have an emergency fund then the whole plan goes bust. We started with a $1,000 “Emergency Fund”.

  1. Pay off debt using the “Debt Snowball”

Begin paying off every debt from smallest to largest (except the mortgage) and make a commitment to never go into debt again no matter how much sense it may make at the time. We have thoroughly bought into the concept that “debt is dumb.” I actually refer to debt as financial cancer because it will kill you…financially. (Possibly even physically. Check out Maxed Out by James D. Scurlock.) My wife and I made a commitment when we got engaged that we would be debt free before we got married and remain debt free. Other than a mortgage we had for 13 years we have held true to that commitment. It is very freeing.

  1. 3-6 months of expenses in an “Emergency Fund”

This is not unique to Dave Ramsey. Almost every financial coach I have ever listened to agrees that a fully funded emergency fund is between 3-6 months of expenses. My wife and I choose to go with six months rather than three.

  1. Invest 15% of household income into Roth IRAs and pre-tax Retirement

Once we have debt eliminated and a fully funded emergency fund we are ready to prepare for the future. The future is coming, we best be ready. If we fail to plan then we plan to fail.

  1. College funding for children

At this point, we plan for our children’s future. If we save ahead for our children’s education they are less likely to go into debt when they go to college.

  1. Pay off house early

Get that last monstrous debt out of the way. A mortgage is the only debt that Dave Ramsey is sort of lenient on. However, after being freed from a 13 year mortgage I seriously doubt my wife and I will ever have another mortgage. We might, but it is unlikely. It is just too freeing to not have any debt. My hate for debt is stronger than my love for a house.

  1. Build wealth and give

In the words of Dave Ramsey, “If you live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.” Zig Ziglar puts it this way, “When you do the things you need to do when you need to do them, the day will come when you can do the things you want to do when you want to do them.” In other words, “if you play now you pay later, if you pay now you can play later.”

Making Money
What we have learned about making money can be summed up in Galatians 6:4-5; “Make a carful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life” (The Message).

Saving Moneybusiness-money-pink-coins
What my wife and I have learned about saving money is that when it becomes very important to us to save money we will find a way to do it. Whether we are saving money for an emergency fund, to make large purchases so we will not go into debt, to build wealth so we can give more money to worthy causes, or maybe to one day purchase our dream house with cash; when it becomes important enough to us we make it happen!

What have you learned about managing money, making money, and saving money?


Follow to this blog to be sure to get motivation, encouragement, and accountability in your inbox to help you reach your God-given potential!

Subscribe to the YouTube channel to get notifications when there are new videos posted!


_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message.

Check Tommy’s availability:

The Secret Code Behind Remarkable Communication

 

in-sWe discussed where people get their energy by looking at the differences between extroverts and introverts in the last blog. Today we will look at people’s style of communication, the way they best exchange information, by looking at the difference between those who have a preference for sensing and those who are more intuitive.

Sensors tend to communicate more concretely while intuitors tend to communicate more abstractly. In the book “Please Understand Me II” David Keirsey explains the difference this way, “Abstract words refer to things that cannot be observed but only imagined, while concrete words refer to things that can be observed and therefore need not be imagined” (p. 120).

Sensing

If your tendency is toward sensing, you communicate through what you can see, touch, smell, hear, and taste. You communicate what you can observe. You tend to start with the facts first, then move toward the big picture.

sensing intuitionSensors like to recall events as snapshots of what literally happened. They put experience first and put less trust in words and symbols. Sometimes they will focus so much on the facts of the present or past that they miss new possibilities.

Intuitive

If your tendency is toward intuition, you communicate through what can be imagined. You see beyond just the facts. You tend to start with the big picture first, then move toward the details and facts.

Intuitives like to recall events by what they read “between the lines” at the time. They place great trust in insights, symbols, and metaphors and less in what is literally experienced. Sometimes they focus so much on new possibilities that they miss the practicalities of making that new possibility into reality.

Everyone has some of both sensing and intuition. However, we all have one that is more dominate than the other. This is your preference for how you best and most naturally communicate.

Neither style is good or bad. We need both. When we are aware of what each person’s communication style is, we can better work towards better marriages, healthier churches, and more productive businesses.

S-N

After reading the descriptions of the two different communications styles which one do you feel you are? What about your spouse? Kids? Co-workers? Supervisor? Understanding you’re your communication style and the style of those you interact with on a regular basis can help you be more effective in your communication.


Follow to this blog to be sure to get motivation, encouragement, and accountability in your inbox to help you reach your God-given potential!

Subscribe to the YouTube channel to get notifications when there are new videos posted!


_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message.

Check Tommy’s availability:

This Tool Transformed Our Relationship

 

I was recently asked, “What is the secret to a great relationship?” My immediate answer, “Communication!” This may not be the only secret to a good relationship but it is arguably the most important.communication
This is especially true in a marriage relationship. My wife, Tammy, and I went through what we call our “marriage conversion” a few years ago and we learned this one communication tool that has transformed our marriage! Maybe this tool can be helpful in your marriage as well.

Dialogue

This is an invaluable tool my wife and I learned at a marriage retreat a few years ago. This is how it works:

  1. Question – Agree on a question to answer. I will give a list of questions at the bottom of this blog to help you get started. Both of you answer the same question.
  1. Write – Both of you will separately take 10 minutes (timed with a timer) to write a love letter to your spouse answering the question that both of you agreed upon ahead of time. Write the letter specifically to your spouse. Open with Dear _____, and close it with a typical love letter closing. Hence, it is a love letter and not an opportunity to
    “let your spouse have it”. Be honest and also be loving in your letter.
  1. Together – The two of you will agree on a time to come together to share and discuss each other’s letters.
  1. Read – Set the timer for 10 minutes and then exchange letters. Read through the letter twice. Once with your mind and once with your heart.
  1. Discuss – When you are both finished reading each other’s letter, take the remainder of the 10 minutes to discuss the contents with each other. Again, this is a time to be both honest and loving.
  1. Next question – Go ahead and agree on the next day’s question before you finish. My wife and I usually have a list of several questions so we just go straight down the list with a new question each day.

Hope through relationshipsWe have done this little exercise six days a week for the past two and a half years (we take one day a week as a break). It has transformed our communication which has, in turn, transformed our marriage. I believe it can have a similar effect in your marriage.

Here are ten questions to help you get started over the next eleven days (remember, you may want to take a break one day per week). If you would like some additional questions please email me: TommyLanham@TommyLanham.com

  1. What was your first impression when you met your mate for the first time?
  2. What is your definition of a good marriage?
  3. When is your relationship the happiest?
  4. What quality do you like best in your mate?
  5. What is your idea of a great vacation?
  6. What are your goals in your marriage?
  7. Express appreciation to your mate for something that he/she did recently?
  8. What do you enjoy doing as a couple?
  9. What one thing do I want to change about myself that I think would please you?
  10. What do I love most about you today?

Resources for Questions
The Ungame: Couples Version
101 Conversation Starters for Couples. Gary Chapman & Ramon Presson
You can also Google: questions for couples


Follow to this blog to be sure to get motivation, encouragement, and accountability in your inbox to help you reach your God-given potential!

Subscribe to the YouTube channel to get notifications when I post new videos!


_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message.

Check Tommy’s availability: