3 Easy Steps to Change Your Habits

Recently a fellow enthusiast asked me this question:

“From what I read and understand, change/resolutions, etc., come from changing habits. How does one really do that?? If I want to exercise more, eat healthier things, what habit am I forming and HOW?”

Here is my answer:

Changing our habits is not easy. Our mind gets comfortable acting in a certain way and when we change the routine, our minds will often resist. I do not know your unique situation. However, here are some general tips:

  1. Focus on the results. For any goal you have ask yourself “What is the purpose of reaching this goal?” write that down and read it frequently. It will keep you motivated and focused.
  2. Make it a must. We typically do not do what we feel like we “should” do. However, we almost always do what we feel we “”must.” For example, if we say, “I should start running.” We probably will not. However, if we “must” run somewhere to save the life of someone we love, we will find a way to do it.
  3. Visualize your goals. Getting a clear picture of your goals in your mind or even an actual picture you will see every day will keep you motivated and focused. I am doing a live event in Lexington, KY. on January 19, specifically covering this topic.

This is a quick answer, but hopefully it will help get you started.  Here is the link to the podcast of the radio show “Hope Is Here” hosted by Greg Horn. I was his guest on January 1-5. We discussed goal getting and overcoming discouragement. Listen to the show this week. The clips are only about 15 minutes each. If you have further questions please let me know. I can even do a free coaching call with you if you would like to dig deeper into changing your habits. Thanks for the question.

Additional comments:

Keep in mind that your brain makes neurological connections in the process of establishing habits. When you change your habits you are literally changing brain connections. Your brain will often fight those changes. However, when those new connections are complete then your new habits become easier. When the new connections become strong enough the new habits become more routine.

Also, any kind of accountability will help. Make changes with a group of people or at least with one other individual. Get a mentor that is already doing those things you want to start doing. Hire a coach to help you work those changes more quickly than you otherwise would have.

If you have any questions you would like my perspective on please put them in the comments.


I offer FREE 45-55 minute coaching session, done over the phone at a time that is convenient for you.  In this short call, we will work together to:

  • discover a path you want to take and
  • if I’m the best choice to help you navigate that path.

Take 30 seconds and register for your free session.  It may be the best step you’ve ever taken towards making your life something better than you ever dreamed.


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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is on a mission to break the monotony of the mundane and mediocre by bringing as much enthusiasm to as many businesses, ministries, marriages and individual lives as he possibly can because that is the power of enthusiasm!

He is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to ignite their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life-changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rock star for hiring Tommy Lanham!

 

3 Simple Strategies to Deal With Discouragement

In your opinion, what is the biggest obstacle to people reaching their goals?

A couple of weeks ago I asked this question on Facebook. One of the top answers was: “the discouragement of other people.” David Wilkinson, in his book “The Dream Giver”, identifies four different types of people who discourage us from reaching our goals:

  • The Alarmist: They say, “It’s not safe!” They are motivated by fear and tends to exaggerate the risks.
  • The Traditionalist: They say, “It’s not the way we do it!” They do not like change. They often romanticize the past and they are motivated by custom and routine.
  • The Defeatist: They say, “It’s not possible!” They see problems everywhere. They are certain you cannot achieve your goal or dream.
  • The Antagonist: They say, “I won’t let you!” They use authority or intimidation to block your path. They come against you because they are afraid they will lose money or control. Or they may just not like you or what you are doing. (p. 104).

These can be family, friends, co-workers, bosses, neighbors, and sometimes, complete strangers. For some reason, some people just do not want you to follow your dreams or achieve your goals. So, what do you do about it? I am glad you asked. Here are three suggestions:

  1. Change who you spend most of your time with.

We are typically the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Be intentional about who you are around most of the time. You may not be able to completely control who you are around, but you can to some extent.

Hang around with people who dream and are goal oriented. Look for people to dream with you. Hang around people who support you in your enthusiastic journey toward your God-given potential.

  1. Change your self-talk.

Shad Helmstetter says, “by the time a person is 18 years old they have heard ‘no’ or ‘you can’t do that’ over 148,000 times.” If you hear “no” or “you can’t do that” over 148,000 times you will begin to believe it. Those messages that have been programmed into our minds continue to speak to us.

We must change that negative self-talk into positive self-talk. We must reprogram our minds. The best way to do that is to be more intentional about positive self-talk instead of just using negative self-talk by default.

As we make that change, it will change our thoughts, which will change our beliefs, which will change our feelings, which will change our actions, which will change our results. We cannot always change what other people tell us, but we can change what we tell ourselves.

  1. Hire a coach.

A coach helps you overcome the obstacles in your way so you can better and more quickly achieve your goals. Thomas Leonard put it this way, “a coach helps people set goals, do more than they would have done on their own, and improve focus as to produce results more quickly.” When you are dealing with the discouragement of others, a coach can help you put things in perspective instead of being sidetracked by other people’s negativity.

Here are some statistics on coaching:

  • 80% of people who receive coaching report increased self-confidence,
  • 70% benefit from improved work performance, relationships, and more effective communication skills
  • 86% of companies report that they recouped their investment on coaching and more (source: ICF 2009).

Most coaches offer one FREE introductory session. I would encourage you to find three coaches that look like they may be a good fit for you and schedule a FREE session with each one. Then choose one to work with so you can work past the negative input of other people. A good coach will always be an encourager that helps you stretch beyond your comfort zone. You can sign-up for a FREE coaching session with me here.

Getting past those negative influences is not an easy task. It takes finding more positive people to be around, changing your self-talk, and working with an encouraging coach to break through the negativity into the person God has created you to be. God has not called you to be a part of the mediocre, he has called you to greatness!

Which action will you take today?


I bring to the table a set of professional skills to help you identify what you really want in life, design action plans to reach those goals and get those things accomplished.

I offer one FREE 45-55 minute coaching session, done over the phone at a time that is convenient for you.  In this short call, we will work together to:

  • discover a path you want to take and
  • if I’m the best choice to help you navigate that path.

Take 30 seconds and register for your free session.  It may be the best step you’ve ever taken towards making your life something better than you ever dreamed.


Click Here for 2 free goal-setting helps: “Dream List” and “Goal-Setting Funsheet”

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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to ignite their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life-changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

 

 

Contact me:

How To Keep Up Your Momentum (Video)

Leaders are lifelong learners. Never stop feeding your mind and your soul.


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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to ignite their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life-changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

Check Tommy’s availability or leave a note:

 

How to Keep Up Your Momentum

2017092895115407[1]As many of you know I went to the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC) World Conference in Nashville, Tennessee last week. It was my 5th AACC World Conference. I went to be filled and I came home overflowing.

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I am not a counselor, but there is a life coaching track and a leadership coaching track that I typically attend. It is great to meet with other Christian coaches who are wanting to get better equipped to do what God has called them to do. It is also great to get to learn from some of the best coaches in the field such as Dwight Bain, Georgia Shaffer, Dr. Katie Brazelton, Shannon Ethridge and others.

2017093095100725[1]Every time I go to this conference, I not only get filled with tons of great information, I regain my momentum to help dreamers, believers and achievers discover their unique path to their God-given potential. Not only do I attend the workshops and main sessions, I also purchase books and CD’s to continue that momentum even after the conference is over. I love going to the AACC World Conference! Not only is it great for me it is great for those I serve because I am able to serve them better.

How are you feeding your mind and soul? What conferences are you going to? What books are you reading? What audios are you listening to? What coaches are you working with?

2017093095140655[1]Look for conferences, seminars, and classes to attend to be better equipped for what it is you do. Leaders are lifelong learners. Never stop feeding your mind and your soul.

The AACC World Conference is one of my favorite and most valuable conferences I attend, but it is by no means the only one I attend. As a 2017093095103939[1]minister, I attend the Kentucky Minister’s Retreat almost every year. As a spouse, I am always looking for marriage events to attend. I look for anything that can help me become better at what I do.

What is your next step? Schedule a conference, seminar, or class. Read a book that helps you become better at being who God created you to be.  Hire a coach (click here to schedule one FREE coaching session with me.)

What is your next step?


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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to ignite their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life-changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

Check Tommy’s availability or leave a note:

 

How To Deal With Weird People

My parents were there when my first child was born.  They had raised five children of their own.  I asked them, “What parenting advice do you have for someone just starting out?” My Dad looked at me and said, “Raise them according to their personality…That is where I went wrong with you.” I was not sure exactly how to take that, but then he continued, “I raised you like a typical little boy. Little did I know my son was growing up with the heart of a poet.”

That was a powerful moment in my life. I have tried to live out my Dad’s advice, not only in raising my children but in every other area of life as well. It has helped me be a better parent, spouse, employee, leader, minister, speaker, coach, and friend.

Understanding our personality styles and the personality styles of those we deal with every day is key to climbing to our God given-potential and helping others climb to their God-given potential as well.

Here is a brief overview of the four major personality styles and how to best work with each:

 

george-washington-picture copy
George Washington was a “Heart”.

 

HEART

  • Security-Seeking Personality
  • Time Focus: The Past
  • Biblical Example: Moses
  • Desires: Connection and Accomplishment
  • Trusts: Authority
  • Characteristics: Dependable and Cautious

When working with Hearts, keep in mind they are motivated by schedules and timelines. They typically enjoy having timelines to get tasks accomplished. They will sometimes get stuck or at least sidetracked whenever they feel they are not in control of the situation. Schedules and to-do lists can help them feel like they have more control. The way to get a heart back on task is to encourage them to stop organizing and get started. Sometimes Hearts try to gain so much control they lose track of the goal.

 

michael jordan 3
Michael Jordan is a “Body”.

BODY

 

  • Thrill-Seeking Personality
  • Time Focus: Present
  • Biblical Example: Peter
  • Desires: Fun and Activity
  • Trust: Their Impulses
  • Characteristics: Fun-loving and Spontaneous

When working with Bodies, keep in mind they are motivated by fun and excitement. They typically will do whatever they feel will be fun. They will sometimes get stuck or sidetracked if they get bogged down with what they feel is too long-term or boring. With their time focus on the now, they need to know they can do something now. The best way to get Bodies back on track is to help them find the fun in it. They will work harder than anybody if they find some kind of excitement in what they are doing.

 

princess-diana-mario-testino
Princess Diana was a “Soul”.

SOUL

 

  • Identity-Seeking Personality
  • Time Focus: The Future
  • Biblical Example: Barnabas
  • Desires: Meaning and Purpose
  • Trusts: Their Intuition
  • Characteristics: Enthusiastic and On a Spiritual Journey

When working with Souls, keep in mind they are motivated by meaning and developing people. They typically enjoy doing something that will have long-term benefits for others. They can become stuck if they do not connect value or meaning to a task. Souls must see the connection between what they are trying to accomplish and the long-term effects. Sometimes, in order for Souls to get back on task, they need to take a mental break or to simply work in solitude. Because Souls sometimes live in their own little world, they may have to visit that world in order to gain momentum.

 

albert-einstein-png-15
Albert Einstein was a “Mind”.

MIND
 

  • Knowledge-Seeking Personality
  • Time Focus: Intervals
  • Biblical Example: Paul
  • Desires: Individuality and Efficiency
  • Trusts: Logic
  • Characteristics: Strong-willed and Skeptical

When working with Minds, remember they are motivated by intellectual challenges like how to improve something or solve a problem. Just like Bodies like to work with their bodies, so Minds like to work with their minds. Minds can sometimes get stuck because they over-analyze to the point they do not complete the task. Sometimes they can simply think themselves out of doing. In order for Minds to get back on track, they may need to take some time alone. Similar to the Souls, Minds need time alone with their thoughts.

The important thing to realize is that we are all different. What motivates you may not be the same thing that motivates someone else. We all see things differently. The goal is not to get other people to be more like you. It is to better understand your tendencies and other’s tendencies so everyone can bring their unique selves to whatever may be taking place.

God made us all different for a reason. If there are two people just alike then one of them is a waste. Remember other peoples’ tendencies whether you are parenting, leading, being a spouse, a team member, an employee, or a friend. Understanding our personality styles and the personality styles of those we deal with every day is key to climbing to our God given-potential and helping others climb to their God-given potential as well.

If you want to dig a little deeper, my 1-hour training DVD “How to Talk to Weird People” may be a great resource for you.


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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to ignite their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life-changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

Check Tommy’s availability or leave a note:

 

Do You Want to Know Why You Got Fired? (Video)


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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to ignite their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life-changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

Check Tommy’s availability or leave a note:

 

 

Do You Want to Know Why You Got Fired?

Nothing is more important than relationships. Not politics, championships, or even religion.  Nothing is more important than relationships. Regardless of your call in life, the stronger the relationships you have, the better off you will be. Here are just a few facts I have heard about relationships.

  • Over 99% of counseling is relationship counseling

relationship-pics-images-pictures-photos-13

Zig Ziglar tells in his How To Stay Motivated series about a counselor who believed, in his educated opinion, more than 99% of counseling is relationship counseling. That makes sense. Marriages are about relationships, parenting is about relationships, jobs are about relationships, depression is often about relationships, drug and alcohol abuse is often about relationships, pre-marital issues are about relationships… everything seems to be about relationships! If we could all get this relationship issue under control, we would put professional counselors out of work.

  • 70% of fired people are fired because they did not get along or fit in

trump - firedThis is another statistic I got from Zig Ziglar. How often people are fired – not because they could not do the job, not because they were lazy, not because they stole from the company – because they did not get along or fit in with the other employees!  Relationships. Relationships apparently play a significant role in employment which plays a significant role in the health of our economy.

  • 20-year Harvard study shows that relationships affect health more than food, exercise, or genes.

Relationships even have an effect on our health. Our emotional health influences our physical health. If you really want all that time in the gym to pay off, try investing just as much energy into your significant relationships.

  • Mark 12:30-31

When Jesus was asked, “Of all the commandments which is the most important?” (Mark 12:28, NIV). Jesus responded, “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these” (Mark 12:30-31, NIV). No commandment is more important than our relationship with God and our relationships with other people. Even if you look at the Ten Commandments, you will discover that four of them are about our relationship with God and the other six are about our relationships with people, but they are ALL about relationships!

20170605_172611A few years ago, my wife and I found ourselves allowing other things to become more important to us than our relationship with each other, our kids, our friends, and even our God. We drastically changed our focus and it has changed our lives. Sometimes we leave important things undone because we focus our time, energy, and attention on our relationships and especially our relationship with each other.  Oddly enough, we have discovered we are much more productive when our relationship with each other is going well. It actually gives us energy!

What can you do to focus more on your relationships? Maybe go on a couples retreat with your spouse, take your kid fishing or just out for the day, invest some time with a friend. Do whatever it takes to grow your significant relationships because, in the end, your emotional well-being, your career, your physical health, and even your faith depends on it!


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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to ignite their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life-changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

Check Tommy’s availability or leave a note:

You Cannot Stay Here (Video)

“Staycations” might be nice. But if we want to climb to our God-given potential, we cannot live our life like a “staycation.” We must be moving forward, climbing upward, and “pressing on toward the goal for which God has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:14, NIV).


Subscribe to the YouTube channel to get notified when new videos are posted!


_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to ignite their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life-changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

Check Tommy’s availability or leave a note:

You Cannot Stay Here

_MG_7632Last week my family and I had a “staycation”. It is where we use our vacation time to stay home. Some people use these to do home improvement projects around the house. However, we used ours to just have a comfortable week with little to no plans.

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Our family did some activities that were close to home. We went to the Ark Encounter in Williamsport, Kentucky; we went to Laurel Lake for a few days and played in the water, went fishing, and learned how to operate a pontoon boat. Sidenote:  I only had to get out in the water and get it unstuck twice!

_MG_7537We had a fun time simply enjoying each other’s company and making memories together. It was relaxed, calm, and serene. It was needed, but…

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I could not wait to get back into the swing of things. I could not wait to continue following my dream. I could not wait to be a productive contributor through my calling. I could not wait to continue leading a rebellion against the mundane by helping dreamers, believers, and achievers climb to their God-given potential through the power of enthusiasm.

I love what I do! This is not something I just do between weekends. Even though I enthusiastically enjoyed my vacation with my family, I could not wait to get back to my calling.

I read a quote one time that said, “Do work you do not need a vacation from.” Although I do believe periodical vacations can help us refuel even when we are doing something we love, I still understand and appreciate the sentiment.

In his book, “Caught Between a Dream and a Job”, Delatorro McNeal says there are three kinds of jobs: 1. Your dream job; 2. Stepping stone jobs; and 3. Dead end jobs. Where are you? Are you doing your dream job? Are you working toward your dream job? Or are you just settling for something that pays the bills? There is nothing wrong with where you are… Just don’t stay there.

There is a church in London, Kentucky that has a motto that goes like this: “We can’t stay here.” Insinuating that they cannot settle. They have decided not to settle with their failures or their successes. They have to move forward. They cannot just stay where they are.

There is an African tribe that uses a phrase they feel puts a horrible curse on people. The phrase is: “May you stay in one place forever.” That truly would be a horrible curse.

DSCF7989“Staycations” might be nice. But if we want to climb to our God-given potential, we cannot live our life like a “staycation.” We must be moving forward, climbing upward, and “pressing on toward the goal for which God has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:14, NIV).

Where is God leading you to press on? What is the next step in climbing to your God-given potential? Never settle, live with enthusiasm, and turn the world upside down!


Subscribe to the YouTube channel to get notified when new videos are posted!


_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to ignite their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life-changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

Check Tommy’s availability or leave a note:

 

 

Put the Oxygen Mask on Yourself First

 

Fuel Your Enthusiasm!


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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to ignite their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life-changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message. You will look like a rockstar for hiring Tommy Lanham!

Check Tommy’s availability or leave a note: