The Secret Code Behind Remarkable Communication

 

in-sWe discussed where people get their energy by looking at the differences between extroverts and introverts in the last blog. Today we will look at people’s style of communication, the way they best exchange information, by looking at the difference between those who have a preference for sensing and those who are more intuitive.

Sensors tend to communicate more concretely while intuitors tend to communicate more abstractly. In the book “Please Understand Me II” David Keirsey explains the difference this way, “Abstract words refer to things that cannot be observed but only imagined, while concrete words refer to things that can be observed and therefore need not be imagined” (p. 120).

Sensing

If your tendency is toward sensing, you communicate through what you can see, touch, smell, hear, and taste. You communicate what you can observe. You tend to start with the facts first, then move toward the big picture.

sensing intuitionSensors like to recall events as snapshots of what literally happened. They put experience first and put less trust in words and symbols. Sometimes they will focus so much on the facts of the present or past that they miss new possibilities.

Intuitive

If your tendency is toward intuition, you communicate through what can be imagined. You see beyond just the facts. You tend to start with the big picture first, then move toward the details and facts.

Intuitives like to recall events by what they read “between the lines” at the time. They place great trust in insights, symbols, and metaphors and less in what is literally experienced. Sometimes they focus so much on new possibilities that they miss the practicalities of making that new possibility into reality.

Everyone has some of both sensing and intuition. However, we all have one that is more dominate than the other. This is your preference for how you best and most naturally communicate.

Neither style is good or bad. We need both. When we are aware of what each person’s communication style is, we can better work towards better marriages, healthier churches, and more productive businesses.

S-N

After reading the descriptions of the two different communications styles which one do you feel you are? What about your spouse? Kids? Co-workers? Supervisor? Understanding you’re your communication style and the style of those you interact with on a regular basis can help you be more effective in your communication.


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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message.

Check Tommy’s availability:

Will You Take Extreme Steps To Start Saving Money?

Zig Ziglar used to say, “If you do the things you need to do when you need to do them the day will come when you can do the things you want to when you want to do them.” That statement is true in all areas of life, but especially when it comes to saving money.

If we will save money when we need to save it (NOW) the day will come when we can use our money the way we want to use it; whether it is having enough money to cover emergencies, to cover large expenses, or having enough to truly bless someone who is struggling. Whatever our motivation, it will be nice to have the money when the time comes.

burninghouseIf your child, or someone you love, was in a house that was on fire, what would you do to get that person out of the house? …. Yep! Anything you possibly could, and maybe even more than what is possible, to save your child or loved one. In other words, you would not make excuses.  You would go to extreme measures to save your child or loved one.

We will save money when it becomes very, very, very important to us. Not when the economy changes, not when this person moves out or when that person gets a job, not when the new president takes office. We will only start saving money when it becomes very, very, very important. Just like saving the child from a house fire, when it becomes very, very, very important to us, then no excuse is strong enough to keep us from taking action.john wesley
John Wesley said, “Earn all you can, save all you can, give all you can.” We will not have the money to bless others if we do not save the money we need to bless others. Again, whatever your motivation for saving may be, it will not happen because of outside circumstances. It will only happen when we make an intentional decision to save money no matter what happens. It is kind of like saving your child from a house that is burning down around them.

When will you decide to start saving?


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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message.

Check Tommy’s availability:

This Tool Transformed Our Relationship

 

I was recently asked, “What is the secret to a great relationship?” My immediate answer, “Communication!” This may not be the only secret to a good relationship but it is arguably the most important.communication
This is especially true in a marriage relationship. My wife, Tammy, and I went through what we call our “marriage conversion” a few years ago and we learned this one communication tool that has transformed our marriage! Maybe this tool can be helpful in your marriage as well.

Dialogue

This is an invaluable tool my wife and I learned at a marriage retreat a few years ago. This is how it works:

  1. Question – Agree on a question to answer. I will give a list of questions at the bottom of this blog to help you get started. Both of you answer the same question.
  1. Write – Both of you will separately take 10 minutes (timed with a timer) to write a love letter to your spouse answering the question that both of you agreed upon ahead of time. Write the letter specifically to your spouse. Open with Dear _____, and close it with a typical love letter closing. Hence, it is a love letter and not an opportunity to
    “let your spouse have it”. Be honest and also be loving in your letter.
  1. Together – The two of you will agree on a time to come together to share and discuss each other’s letters.
  1. Read – Set the timer for 10 minutes and then exchange letters. Read through the letter twice. Once with your mind and once with your heart.
  1. Discuss – When you are both finished reading each other’s letter, take the remainder of the 10 minutes to discuss the contents with each other. Again, this is a time to be both honest and loving.
  1. Next question – Go ahead and agree on the next day’s question before you finish. My wife and I usually have a list of several questions so we just go straight down the list with a new question each day.

Hope through relationshipsWe have done this little exercise six days a week for the past two and a half years (we take one day a week as a break). It has transformed our communication which has, in turn, transformed our marriage. I believe it can have a similar effect in your marriage.

Here are ten questions to help you get started over the next eleven days (remember, you may want to take a break one day per week). If you would like some additional questions please email me: TommyLanham@TommyLanham.com

  1. What was your first impression when you met your mate for the first time?
  2. What is your definition of a good marriage?
  3. When is your relationship the happiest?
  4. What quality do you like best in your mate?
  5. What is your idea of a great vacation?
  6. What are your goals in your marriage?
  7. Express appreciation to your mate for something that he/she did recently?
  8. What do you enjoy doing as a couple?
  9. What one thing do I want to change about myself that I think would please you?
  10. What do I love most about you today?

Resources for Questions
The Ungame: Couples Version
101 Conversation Starters for Couples. Gary Chapman & Ramon Presson
You can also Google: questions for couples


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_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message.

Check Tommy’s availability:

 

 

How to Speed Up the Climb to Your God-Given Potential

Whether you are leading a business, church, family or simply leading yourself, there are specific ways to be more successful. I have used this acronym before because it is so helpful in getting from where you are to where you want to be. To be more successful and better reach our God-given potential, we must FACE it: Focus, Action, Correction, and Example.

  • Focus
    Again, whether we are leading a business, church, family, or simply leading ourselves, we must develop focus. What is the specific purpose of my business? Why does my church exist? What direction do I want my family to go? What is my personal life purpose? Be specific. The more focused we are the more likely we are to hit our target.
  • ActionFACE
    Take action! Yes, we will mess up and fall flat on our faces from time to time or maybe even often. That is OK, just take action. Nothing ever happened from people just sitting around thinking about things. It is great to dream as long as we get up and do something about it. Take action.
  • Correction
    After we begin to take action and fall flat on our face, let’s ask this question, “What can I learn from this?” Every time we fail we have the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. Make the needed corrections and then take action again.
  • Example
    The best way to shorten the learning curve is to find an example to follow. Find a business that is where we want to be and learn from them. Find a church that is reaching people and growing the way we would like to grow and learn from them. Find a family that is the kind of family we would like to be and learn from them. Find someone who is where we would like to be in life and learn from them. Find models to follow in our endeavor to climb to our God-given potential.

If we focus, take action, make corrections, and follow good examples it will speed up our climb to our God-given potential.


Follow to this blog to be sure to get motivation, encouragement, and accountability in your inbox to help you reach your God-given potential!

Subscribe to the YouTube channel to get notifications when I post new videos!


_MG_6842cropTommy Lanham is a dynamic, award-winning speaker who has been training individuals and organizations to reach their God-given potential for 25 years. With a unique blend of Ziglar motivation and ragamuffin faith, Tommy delivers powerful, life changing messages filled with humor, hope, and enthusiasm.

Tommy will empower, entertain and energize audiences to achieve extraordinary results and live a life beyond what they ever dreamed possible.

Tommy is dedicated to helping you make your next event the best you’ll ever experience. Your audience will laugh, learn and be inspired as he mixes enthusiasm and humor with motivational stories to deliver a high content message.

Check Tommy’s availability: